God put good people in my life ...

My husband has been out of town working ... for 11 months ... out of the past 15 months.

YES ... you read that right.

My husband is a proud Pipefitter for the Union ... and travels a lot for his job.

It sucks.

Sucks big time.

But at the same time ... I feel HORRIBLE even complaining venting fucking loosing my mind  stating the factor ... because there are MILLIONS of single parents doing it day in and day out.

GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!

AND they are working 40 or more hours a week.

If not multiple jobs.

There are military families ... that their spouse is away protecting our country ... and they are at home holding down the fort ... Every. Single. Day.

So I feel silly even having a mental break down pitty party every now and then ... for myself.

But ... I do have my moments ... and I normally hide in the bathroom and cry.

Then I feel all better after I drink a bottle of wine.

Let me just say ... the kids and I eventually got into our own little "groove" ... but  my groove seems to involve wine more and more often lately.

At this point in time ... cereal counts as a full course meal.

If you have showered at least twice in a 7 day time span ... that is an accomplishment.

If you ring my doorbell ... chances are I am not gonna answer my door ... because I can not clear out a path quickly enough ... to open the door for you.

Dirty socks are completely acceptable to wear.

Vacuuming ... what is the fucking point???

Sometimes ... just simply getting the clothes out of the washer ... and into the dryer ... BEFORE mildew sets in ... is an accomplishment for me.

Shoot ... combing my hair BEFORE I walk out the door in the morning ... is a MAJOR accomplishment for me.

The Moms that cook all healthy with organic foods ... well ... congratulations.  I guess. Shit ... I am lucky if my kids get the bananas ate ... BEFORE they are a solid black mushy mess.

I have learned how to plunge a toilet ... because my son is a pooping machine.

Most importantly ... I have realized how UNBELIEVABLY blessed I am when it comes to the people God has put into our life.  I am NOT one that likes to ask for help.  I HATE asking for help ... because it makes me feel like a failure.  I mean ... they are my kids ... and if I can not manage their schedule ... then that makes me look like a screw up failure.

About 5 months ago ... I had a friend tell me ... that if she did not want to help ... then she would not offer.  And by me turning her down ... then I am not allowing her to be the kind of friend that she wants to be for me.  Those words have stuck with me.  It is true ... if people did not wanna help ... they would never offer ... and would just avoid the conversation all together.

So ... slowly but surely ... I have admitted defeat ... and began to ask for help.

I need to thank those of you that have feed my kids on the way to Vacation Bible School ... when I forgot to.

I need to thank my friends for simply checking in on me.

I need to thank my new neighbor that offered me her car ... when ours broke down.

I need to thank the amazing neighbors that have baked cookies and meals for me and the kids.

I need to thank our friends who came to get us ... when my SUV broke down.

I need to thank my bestfriend for letting me vent ... when I was having a mental breakdown ... even when she was going through something in her life as well,

I need to thank my sister for answering the phone whenever she sees my name on her caller id ... and just talking to me for hours ... just so I can have some adult conversation.

I need to thank the baseball coaches and parents ... that help Clint with his baseball team ... that did not judge me when I was way late a few minutes late for practice.  Shoot ... I need to thank them for helping me get Eythen to and from MANY of his baseball games ... because I could not be there.  And simply cheering him on for me ... just as if he was one of your own.

I need to thank the people that drove clear out to our house ... and helped me get Harleigh to school when she was on crutches the last week of school.

I need to thank the people that have also helped get Harleigh to and from her softball practice ... and basketball games through out this time.

I need to thank the parent that noticed Bree was lingering around at the dance studio ... and sat in the parking lot ... until they saw me pulling in.  You did not have to do that ... but you did ... and it was so very nice.  Plus ... those amazing Dance Moms that have helped me get Bree to and from the dance studio.

I need to thank my Mom and Dad.  I really do not even know where to start.  You seem to know when I need "rescued" and show up.  You drive up here ... in a drop of a hat ... when it feels like everything is going wrong.  You put a new lock on my back door so I feel safer.  You help me mop up the basement when it flooded ... and drag wet carpet up the stairs and out the door.  You took the kids to the movies ... and let me take a 2 hour nap.  You instantly came up when I realized I had a random mouse in the house ... and put traps up all over the place.  You had pizza delivered to the house on Clint's and my Anniversary ... because I was sad that I was not gonna see him.

I need to thank a friend who just happened to be over here ... when we discovered there was a mouse in one of the moving boxes.  Even though I screamed ... and jumped ontop of the counter ... and we were laughing so hard we had tears falling down our face ... she still got the darn mouse out of the house.

I need to thank the friend who left 2 bottles of wine at my front door.  I think I like you the best  *wink*

Originally ... the hubby was suppose to be home in October.  Then it got moved to November.  Then we heard December 15th ... now we are back to the unknown.  He has been working 7 days a week ... 12 hour days ... FOR THE NIGHT SHIFT!!!  This man is my hero.  I do not know ANYONE that could continue to do what he has done for months up end.  He is truly an amazing person. 

Not many people would drive all the way home ... when he should be sleeping ... to help me with a leaking pipe.

Not many people would drive all the way home ... when he should be sleeping ... just to spend 30 minutes with his son up at the school for breakfast.

Not many people would drive all the way home ... when he should be sleeping ... to help me get my broke down SUV up to the mechanic shop.

Not many people ... are as hard working as my husband ... and I love him more than words could EVER describe.

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A day in my life ...

And yes ... when I got up the next morning ... the bug was gone.

Thanks Clint!!!

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Here is to another football season done and over with ...

YAHOO!!!

YES!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

Super Bowl Sunday!!!

It is FINALLY HERE!!!

Although ... I am celebrating it slightly different than most football loving people do.

From Labor Day weekend till Super Bowl Sunday ... my husband lives and breathes this darn stupid annoying sport.

Now go ahead and call me a party pooper all you want ... but I do not like the sport.  What. So. Ever.

Yes ... I can hear all of you football fans screaming at me at this very minute. I can hear your "BOOOOO's" right now as a matter of fact.  I think I even saw a tomato or two being thrown at me.  No wait ... that was an empty beer can.

But ... "Honey Can You Get Me A Beer" Season ... is one I could really live without.

Now don't get me wrong ... I have done the "good wife thing" in the past ... and attended KU football games with Clint ... and have had some great times ... well ... from what I can remember of those paticular Saturdays.

Between the large cooler of beer ...

To the smell of grilling in the air ...

To our KU tent put up with pride ...

Along with ump-teen million cars lined up and down the hill ...

Tailgating is a blast!!!

I will admit that.

But ...

Unfortunately ... when you are dealing with a "Pro Tailgater" like Clint ... it is an accident waiting to happen if your name is Jill ... and it is followed by the name Moore.

Add in the zillion beers that are drank (ok ... maybe not a zillion ... but when you start at sunrise and are still going after sunset ... it might be really close to a zillion beers) and mix that in with a "kid free" day ...

You have a not a so safe situation just waiting to happen.

Just like my Mom always says ... it is all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Well, that person getting hurt ... 95% of the time ... normally is me.  And 50% of the time ... it is me falling down the steps at the football stadium.

A little FYI ... ALWAYS ... I repeat ALWAYS ... walk BEHIND me ... NOT infront of me if beer has been involved.

Don't say I did not warn ya.

Just sayin ....

Oh wait ... I need to get back on track here.  Where was I?  Oh yes ... that's right!!!

YAHOO!!!

YES!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

Super Bowl Sunday is FINALLY here!!!

So ... while all of you football addicted peeps ... just like my die hard fan of a husband ... are all hooting and hollaring at the TV on Sunday ... cheering on another football game.  Rest assure ... that I will be right there cheering along with all of you ... but for a slightly different reason!!!  I will be cheering because... I survived another year of football!!!  AND I have nearly 6 full months that I get to have my husband without that darn brown leather thing intrupting my marriage.

GO SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!!!

YES!!!

YAHOO!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

Please note ... Of course ... when KU Basketball is on ...

Marriages ...

Parenting ...

Laundry ...

Cooking ...

Cleaning ...

And any other thing that might get in the way ... is put on hold.

But that is a legitament reason.

Admit it ... you know it is!!!

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Another "what the heck" moment ...

I went to clean the kiddos shower this morning ...

And this is what I found.

I am pretty sure this is Breeanna's doing.

Her showers keep getting longer and longer ...

So I am guessing ... she is finding creative ways to make shampoo come out of the bottle.

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Football season is upon us ...

Every year since we moved to Eudora ...

Clint has gone to opening game day for KU football.

Every.

Single.

Year.

I went a time or two ...

Just to do my part of "the good wife" ... then when I realized he was not going anywhere ... and he loved me unconditionally ... so I stopped going.

And ... I started sending the kiddos with him.

This was a win win situation for me.

I got out of going to the football game ... and Clint could not get slobbery dunk because he had the kiddos with him.

Normally ... he takes Eythen and Breeanna with him.

Me and Harleigh (who dislikes football as much as I do) ... enjoy an afternoon of non-football activities.  One year we went to the movies.  Another year we went shopping for the afternoon.  Last year we layed in bed and watched a movie while eating ice cream.

This year was kind of different though.

My Mom invited the kiddos down to visit her for Memorial Day weekend ... and my sister had given Clint 4 tickets to the opening game.

So ... Clint left it up to the kids on what they wanted to do.

Decisions ...

Decisions ...

Decisions ...

Harleigh was a no-brainer.  She was loading up and heading to Grammy and Papa's for the weekend before Clint could even finish asking the question.

Eythen informed us that "he really liked those two people (meaning my Mom and Dad) and wanted to go to their house".

Breeanna asked if she stayed and went to the football game ... could she have a friend sleep over since her brother and sister would not be here.

Sure!

Sounds like a good deal to me.

Except ... "a friend" ended up being SEVEN 10 year old litte girls ... who stayed up till WELL past 3 am.

*yawn*

So ... while Eythen and Harleigh were enjoying some Grammy and Papa time.  Breeanna and Clint headed off to their annual KU football game.


Incase you did the Math ... then you realized that I was all by myself during the KU football game time frame this year.  No need to feel sorry for me though!!!  I enjoyed some LifeTime movies that I had DVR'ed MONTHS ago and could never seem to find the time to watch one of them.  OH ... and I also enjoyed the peace and quiet ... with a glass of wine ... or two ... or perhaps the whole bottle.

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Down in the dumps ...

This is how I found Harleigh moments before she was suspose to leave for a birthday party a few weeks ago.

Needless to say ... the flu struck our house for the second time.

But nothing makes a little girl feel better than some "recovery time" in Mommy's bed ...

And a McDonald's Happy Meal ...

With Lucy patiently waiting for "that moment" ...

When Harleigh caves into the "puppy dog eyes" ...

And shares her Happy Meal with her very bestfriend.

Dear Easter Bunny:

This year instead of eggs filled with candy ... can you please fill them with gas cards?!?!?!

No explanation ...

I sometimes wonder why my children are so weird ...

Then I remember who their father is ...

BEEP ...

BEEP ...

BEEP ...

BEEP ...

BEEP ...

This is an important public message to the surrounding areas of the Moore household.

The flu is circling our house now for the SECOND TIME in the past TWO WEEKS.  If you do not hear from any of us by Friday ... please call in reinforcements.

You may now return to your evening blog readings.

Thankyou.

I don't feel very well ...

I am not sure how we did it ... but we went ALL year without the flu hitting our house.  We made it OVER 13 months with no flu.  Yes ... that's right ... 13 MONTHS!

Sure ... we had the tummy ache or head ache or ittybitty unexplained fever here or there ... but nothing that lasted more than 24 hours.

AND ... might I add ... we DID NOT do the flu shot in our house.  We did it one year ... and the kids were as sick as ever that year ... so I have never taken them back to get one.

To each their own ... don't judge me.

So ... once April rolled around ... I have to admit ... I thought I was scott-free on the whole flu thing.

WRONG!!!

Until ... last Saturday ...

When it hit Harleigh like a ton of bricks.

Well ... let me back up.

Last Friday was my ... birrrrr ...

Birrrr ...

Birthhhhhhhh ...

Last Friday was my birthday special day.

So ... my Mom decided to tempt fate ... and take the kids to a motel in Lawrence for the evening (along with a movie, pizza and swimming) ... and Clint and I could enjoy some "adult rated X alone time" for my birthday special day at our house.

To get the "full effect" of what I mean by my Mom "tempting fate" ... you really need to read this blog post  and this blog post.  Once you read these two blog post ... you will understand where I am coming from.

Go ahead ...

Read them ...

I will wait ...

*insert elevator music here*

Now ... back to this blog ...

Saturday morning ... I had a gut feeling that Harleigh was not feeling so well.

Call me crazy ... but after I caught her laying down on the floor with her eyes closed moments before we left for Eythen's soccer game ... I thought something was up.  Not to mention her red cheeks, sick looking eyes and pale complexion were some suttle hints as well.

But ... she INSISTED that she was fine.

So ... we rolled along.

As the afternoon rolled on ... Harleigh began to look more and more "icky".  She kept telling us she was ok ... and my Mom said that if she started to act sick ... she would call me to come and get her.

I knew moments after they pulled out of the driveway ... we would be getting a phone call.

Sure enough ... 7:00 at night ... Clint's cellphone rang ... and Harleigh wanted her Mommy because she did not feel good.

We brought her home, rented her some movies, got her Sprite, gave her some Tylenol and tucked her in nice and tight for the night.

That was until she was suddenly standng at the top of the stairs ...

Looking down at me ...

Nearly in tears ...

Telling me that she did not feel good.

*Harleigh takes off running to the bathroom

*Mommy takes off running after her up the stairs

*Harleigh is leaning over the toilet as Mommy gets to the top of the stairs

*Mommy enters the bathroom just in time to witness a full view of Harleigh puking in the toilet

*Mommy walks towards Harleigh to comfort her

*Harleigh pukes again

*Smell makes contact with Mommy's nose

*Mommy begins to gag

*Mommy gags again

*Mommy runs out of the bathroom trying not to puke herself while announcing that she is gonna puke

*Daddy is downstairs laughing at Mommy

*Mommy gags again

*Daddy hears Mommy gagging in the hallway and laughes even harder

*Mommy calls Daddy a bastered under her breath

*Mommy covers her nose with her shirt and goes back into the battle zone

*Harleigh pukes just as Mommy is about to flush the toilet

*Puke splashes up on Mommy

*Mommy gags again

*Mommy can hear Daddy laughing at her clear down the stairs

*Mommy calls Daddy a bastered under her breath

*Daddy comes up the steps with a cup of water for Harleigh, puts his shirt over his nose, reaches arm as far as he can into the bathroom without physically ENTERING the bathroom and sits cup of water on the bathroom sink

*Daddy looks at Mommy gagging in the bathroom and chuckles

*Daddy heads down the stairs

*Mommy calls Daddy a bastered again under her breath

*Mommy sits on the bathroom floor with Harleigh until the puking is done

Two things we have learned ...
1.  My Mom should never plan on taking the kids to a motel ever again.
2.  Puking stinks.  Literally.

Where art thou???

I have an excuse ...

I mean ...

I have a really good reason for not blogging lately.

Wanna hear it???

Once you hear me say it ... you will completely understand why I have not been a loyal blogger lately!!!

Our laptop has a virus on it.

Yep!  That's right!  A freaking virus!

And ... I use the laptop to check my email (which is the reason I am not returning your emails).  AND I am not checking on all 700 of my Facebook friends to see if they are having a bad day or if their dog ran away or if their dinner tasted delicious or if their children broke a spaghetti sauce jar in the middle of the grocery store isle.  AND that means I am not blogging as much either.  TRUST ME ... my life has NOT gotten normal OR organized OR simple.  It just just as nuts as ever!!!  So you can rest assure that someone out there in cyber world ... aka: ME ... is still living a life that makes your feel good about yours.

It all started with my 9 year old daughter, Bree, playing some computer game on Disney.com early one morning before school.

The virus went full throttle ...

Right then

And there ...

Next ... I took the kids to school, picked up the kitchen, folded laundry, let the dog out to go potty, poored myself a glass of wine beer pop water ... and was gonna scope out cyber world.

Then ...

"It" popped up ALL over my computer!!!

I could not get the windows closed fast enough!!!  "It" was popping up one screen after another.  I started to blush, blood rushed to my head, I started to panic thinking the kids were gonna see "it" (forgetting that I had taken them to school a few hours prior) ...

And then I started to think that Clint was gonna come home and think that "this" was what I did all day long.  Yeah ... instead of the laundry, cleaning, lunch dates with the kids, dishes and occasional blog here or there ... he was gonna think I checked out PORN all day long.

Oh! My! Word!

*blush*

*freaking out just a bit*

This sh*t would NOT get off of my laptop!

GREAT!

All I could think of ... was

1.  Who has enough time to put a virus on Disney.com?
2.  What if this would have poped up when the kids were on the computer?
3.  I am pretty sure if Clint gave me this same "story" of porn just "suddenly" popping up all ove the computer screen ... I would not believe him.  I would think he was secretly checking out porn.  Yep.  Definately.

Yeah ... I really can not even make this sh*t up!

So ... the only other option for me to check my email, roll my eyes at some people's status updates on facebook or blog ... is to use the girls computer upstairs in their room.

Sounds like a no brianer ...

RIGHT?!?!?!

WRONG!!!

Here is where my cyber world disappears for weeks upon end ...

If I decided I am gonna to go use the girls computer ... 15 million things come into play that prevent me from actually even logging onto the computer.

First ... I have to find the motivation to go up the stairs ... period.

Then ... as I am heading down the hallway to their bedoom ... I first have to pass the "playroom".  Normally one of the kids left the door open ... and then to my right hand side ... in my peripheral vision I see the mess.

*ugh*

So I start to pick up the blankets, refold them, put them back on the shelf.  Along with the zillion doll clothes, American Girl Dolls, baby dolls and Barbie dolls.  Then there are the toys that Eythen decided he did not wanna put up in his room ... so he suddenly decided that they would go in the playroom ... so I have to move them back to his room.

*ugh*

Which ...

Leads me to realizing that my son is a pig.

Literally.

So ... I start to pick up the tennis shoes, Wii games, Wii controlers and DVD's.  Then I see a water bottle and granola bar wrapper AND popsiscle stick?!?!?!  Wait a minute ... he is not allowed to bring food or drinks upstairs. *sigh*  Then I find hangers in the toy box, legos in his sock drawers, tinker toys in his bed ... and OUCH!!!  SH*T!!!  Yep ... I then discover his little army men are on the floor ... underneath his dirty socks.

SO ... as I am taking his dirty socks to the laundry basket ... I notice the toothpaste streaks all over the bathroom sink.

You have got to be kidding me.

I just cleaned the kids bathroom yesterday.

So I wipe down the bathroom sink, pick the towels up off the floor and discover that Eythen ate food again upstairs ... when I find an empty pudding cup in the bathroom trashcan.  On my way out the door ... I notice that the darn cat has dragged off all of Breeanna's ponytail holders.  She left a trail behind as proof ... one here ... one there ... another one here ... another one there.

So I gather all of them up and head to the girls room to put the ponytail holders up.

It seems like there was something I was gonna do in the girls room?

I know I came in here for a reason ...

But what was it???

Then I notice all of the clothes in the corner of Harleigh's bed.  The same exact clothes ... that I told the girls to put up yesterday.  They are neatly tucked into the corner of her bed ... with 5 different stuffed animals placed on top of them.,

Kuddos girls!

That was pretty slick I must admit.

So ... I then start to hang up the clothes, put the shoes away, pick Harleigh's spelling words off the floor, and put away the 45 pairs of shoes that are laying on the floor.  OUCH!!!  SH*T!!!  A freaking Polly Pocket was left out ... and the bottom of my foot found it underneath the girls dirty socks.

So ... as I am taking the dirty socks to the laundy basket ... I keep thinking that there was something I was gonna do.  What the heck was it???  But ... that is quickly over looked when I see the mounds of laundry staring at me when I drop the girls socks into the basket.

Off to do laundry ...

And that my friends ... is why I have been M.I.A. in blogging world.

I told you it was a good excuse ...

I mean ...

Reason.

???

Eythen has been home sick with a fever for three days now.

Which means ... Mommy has been playing legos, Wii, trucks and trains non-stop.

This morning, Eythen asked me to play a Mario game on the Wii.

For the life of me I could not figure out why my controler was not working. Then I suddenly realized that I did not have a little guy on the screen either.

When I asked Eythen what was going on ... he replied with:  "Well, you always slow me down and you really don't know how to play. So I thought it would be better if you just sit and watch me instead."

*sigh*

I think it is time for this kid to go back to school.

Fever or no fever ...

Tomorrow he is going back.

???

Does anybody have the recipe for "I don't know" or "I don't care"? It is what my family requested for supper and I can not seem to find the recipe anywhere.

Two reasons why Tuesday will be a long day ...

Reason 1:  A son whom is running fever ...

And is certain that this entitles him to being waited on hand and foot.

Yes ... that even means me putting his toothpaste on his toothbrush.

Reason 2:  A daughter who fell off the spring board at gymnastics while attempting a flip of some sorts ...

Whom now has to be carried everywhere because her ankle is swollen and instantly turned black and blue.

Clint ... you might wanna bring home a bottle of wine when you come home tomorrow.

Things that make you go "How the heck?!?!?" ...

I wonder how it is that my children can not find their missing glove, shoe, or bookbag ... but sure can find the M & M's that I hid in the very back of the cabinet?!?!?!

St. Patrick's Day ... 2 weeks late ...

Normally ... my Mom's Spring Break falls on the same week as my kiddos Spring Break.

They have been the same since Breeanna entered kindergarten 5 years ago.

And for the past 5 years ... my kiddos have went down to visit Grammy J. and Papa Gene during Spring Break.

They kids got to have some "special time" during Spring Break ...

My parents got to "loose their mind" during Spring Break ...

And I got some "me time" during Spring Break!!!

It was a win win situation for all of us.

Until this year ...

My kiddos Spring Break was the week of the 17th ...

And my Mom's was the week after.

Anyways ...

My Mom has started this little "tradition" on St. Patrick's Day with my kiddos.

Every year the kids set out some "gold" ...

And one year they even made a "trap" ...

In hopes of a leperchaun stopping by to leave them something.

Normally the leperchaun has left them "gold" (aka: cholocate in gold wrappers), "gold necklaces" (aka: gold beaded necklace from the $1.00 store), pennies and he has even left a leperchaun cake in the past.

Yeah ... pretty thoughtful leperchaun!!!

This year ... the kids were at home ... and I had NO IDEA that they were trying to score some more goodies from the leperchaun ...

Until 9:30 at night ...

When I heard Eythen say, "I sure hope the leperchaun likes the gold I left him!"

SH*T!!!

"Where did you leave the gold this year Eythen?"

"I put some pennies outside for him to see.  They are all of my pennies.  The girls wanted to keep theirs ... so I told them that the leperchaun could have mine.  Harleigh made him a ladder so he can reach the pennies."

I quickly put the kids to bed.

Notified Clint that we had to come up with some "treasure" ASAP!!!

Two minutes later I go outside ...

And this is what I find ...

At least Harleigh informed the leperchaun what to do once he got to the handmade ladder.  Other wise he may never have known what to do!!!

Eythen left 3 gold pennies for the leperchaun.

One for himself ...

One for Harleigh ...

And one for Breeanna.

Good thing the gas station is open 24 hours in Eudora!!!

Otherwise the leperchaun might not have been able to leave anything.

Don't foget ...

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Stupid shoes ...

WARNING!!!

Tripping over a pair of Twinkle Toe shoes in the middle of the night might cause cause one of two things to happen ...

A) The sudden "impact" that your feet just encountered might scare the pee out of you.

or ...

B) The sudden "light show" might startle you ...

and cause you to think electricity is shooting out of the floor.

Which might possibly cause you to jump around for a few seconds while waving your arms ...

Until you completely wake up and realize your daughter did not pick up her darn shoes.

Either way ... your will be embarrassed.

Houston ... we have a problem ...

Problem #1:  Eythen outgrew every single piece of Spring/Summer clothing.

Problem #2:  Harleigh outgrew every single piece of Spring/Summer clothing.

Problem #3:  Breeanna outgrew every single piece of Spring/Summer clothing.

Solution:  One major shopping spree.

Problem #4:  Clint handing over the checkbook.

Let's bow our heads ...

Our Father, who art in Lawrence, Hallowed be thy Game.

Thy Tourney come, thy Championship will be done, in Houston as it is in Allen Field House.

Give us this day, our deserved victory ... & forgive us our turnovers, as we forgave Roy, who double-crossed against us.

Lead us not into defeat, but deliver us from the East Coast Bias.

For Kansas is the Basketball Kingdom, & the Tradition, & the Glory forever & ever.

Amen