Nothing.
Na-Da.
Zill-cho.
What I do know is 2 things:
1. My husband is one hot football coach.
2. Eythen plays center which means he snapps the ball back to the quarterback.
OH! WAIT! I know THREE things:
3. Eythen can do the shot gun when it comes to snapping the ball back to the quarterback.
I have NO flipping clue what it "technically" means ... all I know is that it is a good accomplishment for a 6 year old.
Now that we have this established ... here is the conversation that happened last Friday evening in my household.
I had just put Eythen to bed and was crawling into my own bed when I heard Eythen giggling. I paused for a second thinking maybe I was just hearing things ... nope! There is Eythen giggling again.
I hop out of bed ... and glance down over the upstairs banister ... and I see Eythen sitting ontop of Clint ... who is laying on the couch.
HUH?!?!?!
Me: Eythen! What are you doing out of bed?
Clint: I wanted to show him what his football postition looks like on TV during the football game that is on.
*Eythen has a shit eatin grin on his face as he looks up at me ... kind of like ... Haa Haa Mom ... I am not in bed ... type of grin.*
Me: So ... you are telling me that football is more important than a good night rest?!?!?
Clint: Yeah! That is exactly what I am saying.
*I flash Clint a go to hell look*
Clint: The kid needs to study up on his plays for tomorrow's game.
Me: The kid is only 6!
Clint: All the more reason that he needs to see what professional football players do.
Me: Eythen ... what position do you play in football?
Eythen: Ummmm ... I throw the ball to Kale.
Me: What is your position called.
Eythen: Ummm ... ask Dad ... he is the coach.
*I flash Clint a "I TOLD YOU SO" look*
*Clint rolls his eyes at me*
Clint: Tomorrow Eythen ... let's see how many flags you can pull.
Eythen: OK! Do I get McDonald's no matter how many flags I pull?
*I mouth the words "You better get him McDonald's tomorrow even if he sucks big time at the game"*
*Clint rolls his eyes at me*
Me: Ok Coach ... how many flags should Eythen pull in order to get McDonald's?
This was the point in time where I showed my true colors on not having a CLUE about football!!!
*I was about to announce that Eythen should get EIGHTEEN FLAGS*
*Clint holds up two fingers*
*I quickly bite my tongue and do not announce that I was about to say EIGHTEEN FLAGS*
Clint: Eythen ... you have to pull 2 flags if you wanna eat at McDonald's tomorrow after the football game.
*I mouth the words "You better get my baby chicken nuggets NO MATTER WHAT"*
*Clint rolls his eyes at me*
Me: Just a question ... but why only 2 flags? If the Eythen pulls the flag on any stray kid wondering around aimlessly on the football field he should be able to get ... oh I don't know ... like ... 18 flags?!!?
*Clint rolls his eyes at me*
Clint: Jill ... you only pull the flag from the kid that HAS the ball. Not ANY kid on the football field. What would be the point in that?
*I shrugg my shoulders ... turn around ... and walk back into my room*
Flash forward to the next morning ... which it is POORING down rain ... Clint is coaching ... Eythen is playing football ... Harleigh has a birthday party that she needs to get to so I miss out on becoming a drowned rat at the football game.
*phone rings*
Breeanna: Mom! It is Dad ... but all I can hear is him screaming on the other end!
Me: What?!?!? Give me the phone.
Clint had accidentally "butt dialed" our homeline ... so I sat there listening to the coaches "inside scoop". Which by the way ... is SO much better than sitting on the sidelines not having a CLUE what is going on.
This is what I heard 96.89374% of the time on the other end of the phone ...
Clint: YOU GET IN THERE! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU GOT TO DO! YOU GET IN THERE! PUSH YOUR WAY THROUGH! THAT QUARTER BACK HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE IS DOING! GET HIS FLAG! YOU HEAR ME? GET HIS FLAG IF YOU WANT MCDONALD'S!
Yeah ... I am guessing the samething ... he was talking to Eythen at that point in time as well.
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