This is so my life ...

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Dear sweatpants and hoodie:

Thanks for always being there for me.  I can always count on you ... no matter what.

Sincerely:  Sexy and I know it ... but to lazy to show it.

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FYI ...

Seeing a spider in my house is not a problem.

Stepping away to grab a shoe to kill it ... and then coming back and it is gone ... now THAT is a problem!!!




Click on the link below ... and you will make me a happy camper.

Here we go again ...

Here we go again ... it is midnight ... and I am wide awake.

*UGH*

So ... I thought I would do something productive ...

Since cleaning the bathrooms was not on my "productive list" ...

I decided to blog.

Yeah for you!!!

Boo for my toilets and showers!!!

So like many other sleepless nights when I blogged about stupid random thoughts that ran through my head at any given moment in time throughout the day ...

I thought I would share with you some more stupid random thoughts.

I think that my GPS needs to stop telling me to turn at the next corner ... and instead start saying things like:  Warm ... Warmer ... No idiot  - Cold ... Warmer ... Hot ... Your are freaking on fire!!!  You have arrived at your destination.  That is more "my terms" ... and perhaps would save me from getting lost so often.

I am pretty sure that the Princles guy ... and the Monopoly guy are related in some way!!!

Why can I remember a friend's middle name from 1st grade ... but I can never remember why I walked into the kitchen?!?!?

My children do not come with instructions.  Besides ... if they did ... it would be way to confusing to read and I would not understand them in the least bit.

How is it that dogs can sniff out a bomb ... save a guy from drowing ... keep a blinde person from walking out into traffic ... BUT my daughters dog can NOT figure out how to unwind herself around a tree when her leash gets tangled up in it?!?!?

Definition of DIET ... Do. I. Eat. That.

I sometimes think that if my husbands alarm clock could talk it would say "Get the hell up already" after he hits it for 45 minutes staright.

I do not think it is fair that laundry and dishes multiply faster in my household ... than rabbits.

Dear bowl that keeps coming out of the dishewasher dirty:  If you think I am gonna caress you with a sponge ... you are wrong.  Back in b*tch.  Sincerly - Me

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Sometimes even I am afraid of the things my mind comes up with ...

If nothing is impossible ... then why can't you slam a revolving door?

The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory.  Can you imagine the self control that is required to work there???

I don't care how old you are ... the only safe way of ensuring that there are no monsters under the bed ... is using the run and jump method.

Have you ever noticed that when you are driving and you get lost ... you turn down the radio???  Why do we do that?

I often wonder if the people driving the VW bugs ... wonder if they realize that they are causing fist fights amongist innoncent bystanders.

Have you ever wanted to run up to a stanger and say "Your it" then running away???  NO???  Oh ... Uhhh ... me neither.

Have you ever typed in the word "ninjas" in thesaurus.com???  Well I have!!!  It says ... "Ninjas can not be found".  Well played ninjas ... well played.

If you are not suspose to abuse cough syrup ... then why does it come in a little plastic shot glass???

Don't you find it odd ... that in the cartoon Sponge Bob Square Pants ... Mr. Krabs lives in Bikini Bottom???

Admit it ... every once in awhile ... when you are standing infront of an automatic door ... you say "Open Seasme".  Admit it!  Don't you?  No?  Oh!  Ok ... me neither!

When you and you significant other are having an arguement ... just take off your clothes during the spat and stand there.  I promise they will forget why they were mad at you.  Promise!

Not only do I trip going UP the stairs ... but I trip going DOWN them as well!!!  Now THAT takes some MAD SKILLS!!!  Don't EVEN get me started on flat surfaces ... that is a WHOLE different ballgame.

My mission is complete ... I officially wasted some of your time today.  Your welcome.  WAIT!!!  Don't forget to vote for my blog before you go about your business.

Fact of Life ...

By the time you realize ... what your parents said was right.

You will have a kid ... who begins to think you were wrong.

Random thought ...

Just because you can zip it ... does not mean you should wear it.

Just a thought ...

Days like this are the reason liquor stores should have a delivery service.

Just to let you know ...

I am such a good cook ... that even the smoke alarms hoot and holler for me!!!

Oh crap ...

Parents swimming pool + Harleigh trying to "surf" on the kickboard = Harleigh chipping off part of her front tooth

Freaking hot!!!

I think Mother Nature must have looked at the calender wrong ... because she completely skipped over June temperatures.

Fun fact ...

I sometimes wonder why we still have a land line?!?!?!

But then I remember ... how else am I gonna find my cellphone?!?!?!

Random thought ...

When you catch a fish and release it ...

Does it go back and tell its friends it was abducted by aliens???

Random thought ...

I wish stupid people had a sign that they were required to carry ...

Just to give the rest of us a fair warning!!!

Random thought ...

I really want to know how the hell paper beats rock?!?!?

Think about it!!!

Stand in front of me while I throw a rock and protect yourself with a piece of paper!

Let's see who wins.

See my point!?!?!

Random thought ...

How ironic would it be ...If someone choked on a life saver???

On a side note:  Yes ... My mind does actually think of all of these odd things.



And yes ... my mind is in over drive this evening with all of these "random thoughts" ...

Random thought ...

We should all be greatful that McDonald's does not sell hotdogs!!!

Think about it ...

Could you pull up the the drive thru and order a "McWeiner" with a straight face?!?!?!

I doubt it!!!

Don't even get me started on super sizing that "McWeiner" ..

Random thought ...

In scarey movies ... some person always yells out "hello".

As if the killer is gonna say ...

"Yeah!  I am in the kitchen!  Want a sandwich before I kill you?"

Random thought ...

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people?!?!?

"Alright ... get in the basket."

A mind trick ...

Think of a number.

Double that number.

Add eight.

Minus half of that number.

Minus the number you started off with.

Is the answer four???

It is ... isnt't it?!?!?!