Friday, April 15, 2011

Where art thou???

I have an excuse ...

I mean ...

I have a really good reason for not blogging lately.

Wanna hear it???

Once you hear me say it ... you will completely understand why I have not been a loyal blogger lately!!!

Our laptop has a virus on it.

Yep!  That's right!  A freaking virus!

And ... I use the laptop to check my email (which is the reason I am not returning your emails).  AND I am not checking on all 700 of my Facebook friends to see if they are having a bad day or if their dog ran away or if their dinner tasted delicious or if their children broke a spaghetti sauce jar in the middle of the grocery store isle.  AND that means I am not blogging as much either.  TRUST ME ... my life has NOT gotten normal OR organized OR simple.  It just just as nuts as ever!!!  So you can rest assure that someone out there in cyber world ... aka: ME ... is still living a life that makes your feel good about yours.

It all started with my 9 year old daughter, Bree, playing some computer game on early one morning before school.

The virus went full throttle ...

Right then

And there ...

Next ... I took the kids to school, picked up the kitchen, folded laundry, let the dog out to go potty, poored myself a glass of wine beer pop water ... and was gonna scope out cyber world.

Then ...

"It" popped up ALL over my computer!!!

I could not get the windows closed fast enough!!!  "It" was popping up one screen after another.  I started to blush, blood rushed to my head, I started to panic thinking the kids were gonna see "it" (forgetting that I had taken them to school a few hours prior) ...

And then I started to think that Clint was gonna come home and think that "this" was what I did all day long.  Yeah ... instead of the laundry, cleaning, lunch dates with the kids, dishes and occasional blog here or there ... he was gonna think I checked out PORN all day long.

Oh! My! Word!


*freaking out just a bit*

This sh*t would NOT get off of my laptop!


All I could think of ... was

1.  Who has enough time to put a virus on
2.  What if this would have poped up when the kids were on the computer?
3.  I am pretty sure if Clint gave me this same "story" of porn just "suddenly" popping up all ove the computer screen ... I would not believe him.  I would think he was secretly checking out porn.  Yep.  Definately.

Yeah ... I really can not even make this sh*t up!

So ... the only other option for me to check my email, roll my eyes at some people's status updates on facebook or blog ... is to use the girls computer upstairs in their room.

Sounds like a no brianer ...



Here is where my cyber world disappears for weeks upon end ...

If I decided I am gonna to go use the girls computer ... 15 million things come into play that prevent me from actually even logging onto the computer.

First ... I have to find the motivation to go up the stairs ... period.

Then ... as I am heading down the hallway to their bedoom ... I first have to pass the "playroom".  Normally one of the kids left the door open ... and then to my right hand side ... in my peripheral vision I see the mess.


So I start to pick up the blankets, refold them, put them back on the shelf.  Along with the zillion doll clothes, American Girl Dolls, baby dolls and Barbie dolls.  Then there are the toys that Eythen decided he did not wanna put up in his room ... so he suddenly decided that they would go in the playroom ... so I have to move them back to his room.


Which ...

Leads me to realizing that my son is a pig.


So ... I start to pick up the tennis shoes, Wii games, Wii controlers and DVD's.  Then I see a water bottle and granola bar wrapper AND popsiscle stick?!?!?!  Wait a minute ... he is not allowed to bring food or drinks upstairs. *sigh*  Then I find hangers in the toy box, legos in his sock drawers, tinker toys in his bed ... and OUCH!!!  SH*T!!!  Yep ... I then discover his little army men are on the floor ... underneath his dirty socks.

SO ... as I am taking his dirty socks to the laundry basket ... I notice the toothpaste streaks all over the bathroom sink.

You have got to be kidding me.

I just cleaned the kids bathroom yesterday.

So I wipe down the bathroom sink, pick the towels up off the floor and discover that Eythen ate food again upstairs ... when I find an empty pudding cup in the bathroom trashcan.  On my way out the door ... I notice that the darn cat has dragged off all of Breeanna's ponytail holders.  She left a trail behind as proof ... one here ... one there ... another one here ... another one there.

So I gather all of them up and head to the girls room to put the ponytail holders up.

It seems like there was something I was gonna do in the girls room?

I know I came in here for a reason ...

But what was it???

Then I notice all of the clothes in the corner of Harleigh's bed.  The same exact clothes ... that I told the girls to put up yesterday.  They are neatly tucked into the corner of her bed ... with 5 different stuffed animals placed on top of them.,

Kuddos girls!

That was pretty slick I must admit.

So ... I then start to hang up the clothes, put the shoes away, pick Harleigh's spelling words off the floor, and put away the 45 pairs of shoes that are laying on the floor.  OUCH!!!  SH*T!!!  A freaking Polly Pocket was left out ... and the bottom of my foot found it underneath the girls dirty socks.

So ... as I am taking the dirty socks to the laundy basket ... I keep thinking that there was something I was gonna do.  What the heck was it???  But ... that is quickly over looked when I see the mounds of laundry staring at me when I drop the girls socks into the basket.

Off to do laundry ...

And that my friends ... is why I have been M.I.A. in blogging world.

I told you it was a good excuse ...

I mean ...


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