Stupid Tylenol PM ...

* Take Tylenol PM at 8:30 in hopes of falling asleep and declaring my "territory" in our bed before my husband does

* Crawl into bed at 10:30

* Husband crawls into bed at 11:00

* Still wake at 11:00 when husband crawls into bed

* Husband gives me good night kiss

* Wondering why the Tylenol PM has not kicked in yet

* Realizing that if I do not fall asleep in the next 15 minutes ... I will be listening to my husband saw logs

* To late

* Husband sawing logs

* Still awake at 11:30

* Husband still sawing logs

* Slightly shove husband in hopes of getting him to stop snoring

* Husbands body does not even move

* Snoring gets louder

* Wondering why this darn Tylenol PM is STILL not working

* Husband snoring gets louder

* Shove husband a bit harder than the last time in hopes of getting him  to stop snoring

* Husbands body moves more than I expected it to

* CRAP!  I hope he does not fall off the bed from that shove

* Husband stops snoring

* Husband starts snoring again

* STUPID Tylenol PM makers

* Debate with myself on getting up and emailing Tylenol PM to tell them off

* 12:00 and husband is snoring so loud I think the pictures on the wall just shook

* Shove husband even harder than the last time in hopes of getting him to stop snoring

* Husbands body nearly rolls completely over from the shove

* Secretly hoping he falls off the bed

* Does not phase husband

* Husband is still snoring

* F^#$ing Tylenol PM

* Scream husbands name a bit louder than I planned on

* Husband mumbles "What?"

* Pretend like I am asleep

* Husband is snoring ... again

* 12:30 I am thinking of sueing Tylenol PM

* Wait ... here that?!?!?

* Husband stopped snoring

* Relieved husband stopped snoring because I really did not wanna have to put a pillow over his face

* Snuggle into a comfy spot in my bed

* Crap!  I do not wanna lay this way.  I wanna roll over.

* Husband still not snoring

* Roll over ever so carefully in hopes of not waking the bear

* Bad things happen if you wake the bear

* Shit!  I woke the bear

* Husband is sawing logs ... again

* Certain I took the only two Tylenol PM's in the bottle that do not work

*insert snore here* ...

Last. Night. My. Husband. Snored.

Shit ... I am honestly surprised that the cops did not ticket him for disturbing the peace.

So ... last night after kicking, shoving, pushing, elbowing and screaming "CLINT" ...

For the 847th ...

So as I layed in bed ... I began to think of other scenerios that would be a wee-bit more fun than what I was experiencing at that exact moment ...

Because....

Personally ...

Staring at the red numbers on the alarm clock flashing 1:32 am back at me ...

While grasping the pillow next to me ...

Trying to refrain myself from smacking Clint as hard as I could ...

Was not really at the top of my "list" ...

*  being the sole adult in Chuck E Cheese on a Saturday afternoon

*  suddenly realizing I am out of wine ... and the liquor stores are closed.

*  stepping on a Polly Pocket in the middle of the night

*  laying in a bed full of legos

*  living in an iglo without warm gloves

*  at my yearly GYNO appointment

*  being at a haunted house ... alone

*  being locked in a jail cell with the neighborhood pervert
    (Laura ... I KNOW you are laughing at this very moment!!!)

*  checking into a motel and the only room available is one that has stains on the sheets

*  having birds fly at me
      (Terrified. Of. Birds)

*  being in a large body of water and somebody screams "SHARK"

*  meeting Sherron Collins for the first time ... while having lip stick stuck on my teeth

*  realizing that there really is a boogie man under my bed

*  cleaning the kitty litter box

*  watching "Ground Hog Day" on a continous loop

*  mowing the lawn with my teeth

*  at a Star Trek convention

*  having a root canal done

*  ... with no pain killers

*  watching the NFL draft

*  being "that lady" that falls on the treadmill at the gym and everyone stares, points, laughes and talks about it for years to come

*  eating cabbage

*  laying in yellow snow

*  getting a tattoo that says "Enter here"

*  being the sole person on the dance floor with no rhythm ... but certain I am the only one that can bust a move

*  watching every episode of Beevis and Butthead ... start to finish

*  being woke up after FINALLY falling asleep by my son telling me that his cheek hurts.
     (True!  He woke me up to tell me his cheek hurt.  *sigh*  BUT ... I saw this as "my chance" to finally get some sleep.  So I woke Clint up ... and informed him that Eythen was not feeling well and needed to sleep with his Mommy.  I am 97% sure Clint was not awake ... or coherient to what was being said ... but he got up ... grabbed his pillow ... and went to go sleep in another room.)

*  looking at the alarm clock realizing I only have 1 1/2 more hours till my stupid annoying pain in the butt alarm clock goes off.
    (*yawn*)

You click on the link below and vote for my blog ... while I go and take a well deserved nap.

One of "those" nights ...

Have you ever had one of "those" nights after you crawl into bed???

Eh-hemmm

*clearning throat*

No ... I do not mean "those" nights.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Gee Wiz people!!!

I mean the kind of nights that you can NOT sleep.

No. Matter. What. 

You have 50 millions things running through your head ... and the harder you try to clear your head ... the more of a cluster f*** it becomes.

UGH!!!  I hate those kind of nights.

*yawn*

Yep ... I had one of "those" nights last night.

What makes it worse ... was that I was SO darn tired when Clint and I finally crawled into bed.  I could hardly wait for my head to hit the pillow. 

I. Was. Exhausted.

Then ... just when I was about to fall asleep ... WHAM ...

Clint starts to snore ...

And my brain starts to go in circles ...

Did I lock the door?

Yeah ... I did.

I think.

*get up to make sure the doors are locked*

Is the SUV payment due this week?

Oh yeah ... my SUV needs gas.

I wonder if gas will go up overnight?

*sigh*

Who is the one that decides this anyways?

Shoot!  Eythen has show-n-tell tomorrow.

I can't forget that ... again.

*go downstairs to write myself a note about show-n-tell*

What was that noise?

There is it again.

Maybe I should wake up Clint?!?!?

*insert Clint snoring here*

Did I set my alarm clock?

Maybe I should double check to make sure it is still set for the correct time to go off.

Jill ... really?!?!?  You NEVER change the time ... so why wouldn't it be set for the SAME time ... just like EVERY other day?!?!?

*hitting alarm clock button to be sure it is set for the correct time*

Is that the dog I hear taking a bath at the foot of our bed?!?!?

I need to make an appointment for the dog to get groomed.

I really should have shaved my legs before I went to bed.

I need to print off the coupon from CVS tomorrow.

Wait!  I can't print it off until I get more ink the in the printer.

*get up to write myself a reminder about printer ink*

Was that one of the kids?!?!

Or was that someone trying to break into the house?!?!?

I did lock the doors ... right?!?!?

Hateing the fact that I wanna go and check to make sure that the doors are locked ... even thought I KNOW they are.

*reach for phone to be sure it is working just in case someone is trying to break in*

Where is my cellphone?!?!

If someone is trying to break in ... and they cut our land line ... I will need my cellphone.

SH*T!!!  I think I left it in my SUV.

Great!

We are all gonna die!

*hiding underneath the covers*

MAN Clint snores loud!

*dog gets done taking her bath at the foot of our bed and decides to jump up on the bed and scare the pee out of me*

*scoot closer to Clint for protection*

Man that snore is SO annoying!

Suddenly I realize that I am the closest to the door and will get killed first if someone breaks into our house.

Debate about waking Clint up and asking him to switch sides with me.

See red numbers out of the corner of my eye ... and realizing that the alarm clock says 12:10.

If I fall asleep NOW ... I will get 5 and 1/2 hours of sleep.

*Clint rolls over and takes half of the blankets with him*

*dog decided that sleeping up by my head is the most comfortable place for her*

Did I just see something in the bathroom?

Was that a freaking ghost?!?!

Could this house have spirits in it?!?!?

I wonder if they watch Clint and I ... uhhh ... ummm ... "cuddle in bed".

Ewww!!!  We have perveted ghost in our house!!!

HUSH THOUGHTS ... LET ME SLEEP!!!

Can he NOT snore for ONE stinking night?!?!?

*slightly nudge husband*

There ... he stopped.

NOW I can go to sleep.

AWWW MAN!!!  I am down to only 5 hours of sleep if I fall asleep RIGHT NOW!!

*Clint starts to snore instantly ... again*

REALLY?!?!?

For crying out loud!!!

*sighing REALLY loud in hopes it wakes Clint up*

*elbow Clint's side in hopes of stopping the earth shaking noise coming from his body*

*move my foot "swiftly" at Clint's body in hopes of SHUTTING HIM UP*

*having vision of putting pillow over Clint's face*

Was that a shadow I saw???

CRAP!!!  Either the ghost is haunting me ... or someone broke in ...

Oh wait ... it is just Eythen standing at the foot of the bed ... staring at the wall.

WHAT THE?!?!?

Me:  Eythen!  What are you doing?

Eythen:  Mrs. Sweany told me to stand in line and wait my turn.

*confused look on face*

*noticing I only have 4 1/2 more hours till the BLEEPING alarm goes off*

Me:  Eythen ... you are sleep walking ... go back to bed.

Eythen:  Can I have some strawberries?

*insert Clint snoring*

Me:  Eythen ... go back to bed!

*escorting Eythen back to bed*

*tucking Eythen back into bed*

*kissing Eythen on the forehead*

*walking back to my bedroom when suddenly the cat decided it would be hilarious to leap out of no where and attack my feet*

It is possible that I just peed my pants a little from thinking that a ghost or robber was attacking me ... then suddenly realizing it was the freaking cat.

I am certain that freaking cat is posed or something.

*HUGE red numbers flashing on the alarm clock*

*Clint snoring so loud that China thinks their tornado sirens are going off*

*cat giving me a stare down*

*dog laying sideways on my half of the bed*

Ehhh ... sleep is over rated anyways.

Then again ... if I fall asleep NOW ... I will get 4 hours of sleep.