Tuesday, February 22, 2011

*insert snore here* ...

Last. Night. My. Husband. Snored.

Shit ... I am honestly surprised that the cops did not ticket him for disturbing the peace.

So ... last night after kicking, shoving, pushing, elbowing and screaming "CLINT" ...

For the 847th ...

So as I layed in bed ... I began to think of other scenerios that would be a wee-bit more fun than what I was experiencing at that exact moment ...


Personally ...

Staring at the red numbers on the alarm clock flashing 1:32 am back at me ...

While grasping the pillow next to me ...

Trying to refrain myself from smacking Clint as hard as I could ...

Was not really at the top of my "list" ...

*  being the sole adult in Chuck E Cheese on a Saturday afternoon

*  suddenly realizing I am out of wine ... and the liquor stores are closed.

*  stepping on a Polly Pocket in the middle of the night

*  laying in a bed full of legos

*  living in an iglo without warm gloves

*  at my yearly GYNO appointment

*  being at a haunted house ... alone

*  being locked in a jail cell with the neighborhood pervert
    (Laura ... I KNOW you are laughing at this very moment!!!)

*  checking into a motel and the only room available is one that has stains on the sheets

*  having birds fly at me
      (Terrified. Of. Birds)

*  being in a large body of water and somebody screams "SHARK"

*  meeting Sherron Collins for the first time ... while having lip stick stuck on my teeth

*  realizing that there really is a boogie man under my bed

*  cleaning the kitty litter box

*  watching "Ground Hog Day" on a continous loop

*  mowing the lawn with my teeth

*  at a Star Trek convention

*  having a root canal done

*  ... with no pain killers

*  watching the NFL draft

*  being "that lady" that falls on the treadmill at the gym and everyone stares, points, laughes and talks about it for years to come

*  eating cabbage

*  laying in yellow snow

*  getting a tattoo that says "Enter here"

*  being the sole person on the dance floor with no rhythm ... but certain I am the only one that can bust a move

*  watching every episode of Beevis and Butthead ... start to finish

*  being woke up after FINALLY falling asleep by my son telling me that his cheek hurts.
     (True!  He woke me up to tell me his cheek hurt.  *sigh*  BUT ... I saw this as "my chance" to finally get some sleep.  So I woke Clint up ... and informed him that Eythen was not feeling well and needed to sleep with his Mommy.  I am 97% sure Clint was not awake ... or coherient to what was being said ... but he got up ... grabbed his pillow ... and went to go sleep in another room.)

*  looking at the alarm clock realizing I only have 1 1/2 more hours till my stupid annoying pain in the butt alarm clock goes off.

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