Showing posts with label forget having sex once you get married. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forget having sex once you get married. Show all posts

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Party till the break of dawn ...

Clint and I did not have the kids last Friday evening.

I know!!!  RIGHT!!!

Two married adults ... all ALONE!!!

You can only imagine what all went on in this quiet house!!!

Well ... let me just stop you right there.

If you are thinking that we ran around naked ... had sex when we wanted ... and partied till the break of dawn ...

Then you are sadly mistaken.

Sadly. Mistaken.

It is official ...

Clint and I are boring ...

And lame ...

AND OLD!!!

SHOCKER HUH!?!?!  It really surprised us as well!!!  We still thought we were fun, cool and young.

Who would have thought?!?!?

Sure the hell not Clint nor I!!!

5:00 rolled around ... and Clint and I are sitting on the couch ... staring off into space.

Romantic ... I know!!!

Clint:  You wanna go out to eat at a restaurant tonight since we do not have the kids???

Me:  Not really.  I would rather save the money and buy a new outfit for myself.

*Clint flashed me a "what the hell" look*

*I flash a "Well ... you asked if that is what I wanted to do" look*

Clint:  I am gonna go take a nap.

Me:  NOW?!?!?

Clint: You said you did not wanna go out to eat.  What else are we suspose to do?!?!

Right about now is when MOST parents who are kid free would take advantage of an empty house and just "do it" on the kitchen table.

Not us.

We are lame.

I know.

*flash forward a whole whopping 20 minutes later*  Clint comes back down the stairs.*

Clint:  Wanna watch a movie?

Me:  As long as it is not some stupid gross violent movie.

*Clint flashes me a "great now I have to watch a stupid Life Time romanitc sappy movie" look*

*I flash him a "you got that right" look*

Right about now is when MOST parents who are kid free ... would turn off the tv ... and take advantage of an empty house and just "do it" on the stairs.

Not us.

We are boring.

I know.

*flash forward twenty minutes later because we can not agree on a movie to rent*

Clint: Wanna get drunk tonight?

Me: Ehhh ... alright.

*flash forward 2 hours later and a few stiff drinks later*

Clint and I are about to fall asleep on the couch while watching a re-run of Dog The Bounty Hunter on Bravo.

Right about now is when MOST parents who are kid free ... who have been drinking for a few hours ... would take advantage of an empty house and just "do it" in the in the shower.

Not us.

We are old.

I know.

I know I have been MIA for a few days now ... and have not been blogging.  If you only knew what all has been going on in my little chaotic world ... you would forgive me ... and still vote for my blog by clicking on the link below.  Peace Out Homies.
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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Crossed the line ...

Ok ... I have to get something out of my system.

As a parent ... it is MY job to protect MY children and keep them innocent as long as I possibly can.  It is my job to let my children think that the world is made up of crayons, chicken nuggets and M & M's. 

But anymore ...

TV is making it REALLY hard.

Shoot ... even the COMMERCIALS are getting farther and farther out there.

You NEVER heard the word butt or sex on TV when I was a kid ... and you FOR SURE never saw a girl in her bra. That stuff was a no-no ... on TV.  The most "sexual" thing on TV when I was growing up ... was Daisy Dukes ubber short shorts and the movie "Dirty Dancing".

Unless Nickelodeon is on ... I have to have the remote in my hand at all times when the kids are sitting in front of the TV.  I have to be basically on "standby" ... and ready to flip the darn TV off in 2.5 seconds ... if something "R-Rated" suddenly pops up.

TV shows and commercials have crossed the line ... in my opinion ... and they crossed it about 14 steps ago.

When is too much ... TOO MUCH?!?!?!?!

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