Friday, September 30, 2011

26 things to expect when having a son ...

My little man is the BIG SEVEN TODAY!!!

I know EVERYONE says it ... but it really does seem like yesterday that he was born.

It really feels like I blinked ... and he was no longer a baby.

*tear fall*

So ... as I sit here and look back on the last seven years of me being a Mommy to a little guy ... it has made me realize that he has taught me SO much through out the years.  I thought I would share some of this very important information to all of you ...

1.  ALWAYS check your son's pockets for rocks ... small action figures ... or bugs BEFORE you do his laundry.

2.  Speaking of action figures ... they hurt REALLY bad when you step on them in the middle of the night.

3.  Forget about trying to remember all the names to the Thomas the Train "people" ... there are WAY to many.  BUT ... rest assure that your son will know EVERY single one of their names.

4.  Transformers SUCK at trying to "transform".

5.  G.I. Joe's are NOT Barbie dolls.

6.  Little boys are ALWAYS hungry ... EVEN IF they just ate 8 chicken nuggets and a medium fry from McDonald's.  They will STILL ask for ice cream or half of your hamburger on the way out the door.

7.  Boys are a never ending bundle of energy.  Even at midnight ... they will still ask you to play a Wii game with them.

8.  Oreo cookies ... forget about them lasting more than 24 hours in your household if your son knows that they are in the cabinet.

9.  When it comes to your son brushing their teeth ... you MUST remind them to put toothpaste ON the toothbrush.  If you fail to do this ... then it is YOUR fault if they choose to just brush their teeth with water.

10.  When you see the cat soaking wet ... rest assure that your son most likely tried to give it a bath in the toilet.

11.  Speaking of the toilet ... your son WILL have his hands and feet IN THE TOILET at some point in time.  Promise.

12.  Jeans WILL have holes in the knees ... when it comes to your son's jeans.  EVEN IF you just bought them a pair of $40 jeans 2 weeks prior.

13.  Nerf guns will become a permanet ficture in your living room.

14.  Fruit chews are considered a fruit in your son's eyes.

15.  Your son would be able to live off of chicken nuggets if you allowed him to attempt it.

16.  When it comes to the sand box and your son ... you will have more sand IN your house eventually ... than IN the sandbox.  You might as well check his pockets for sand as well ... when it comes to doing his laundry.

17.  Speaking of his laundry ... forget about him having matching pairs of socks.  Boys loose socks.  Period.  And if you ask them where they put all of their socks ... you will get the same answer every time ... "I don't know".

18.  When you ask your son to pick up his room ... rest assure that you WILL find dirty clothes in their dresser.  You WILL find Wii remotes in their book shelf.  You WILL find  tractors, hot wheels and trains UNDER their covers.  You WILL find food wrappers hidden behind the TV stand.  You WILL find shoes in the toy box.

19.  Your son WILL ruin a brand new outfit that you JUST cut the tags off of within 5 minutes of playing outside.

20.  If you are in your bedroom folding laundry ... and it is quiet down the hall ... something bad is going on.  One option could be ... oh I don't know ... perhaps your son coloring all over your living room walls, hallway and kitchen frig with a permanent marker.

21.  When buying a box of dozen donuts from Krispy Kreme ... ALWAYS ... I repeat ALWAYS put them up IN a cabinet.  DO NOT leave them ON the cabinet ... in arms reach ... for your son.  Otherwise it is YOUR FAULT if he eats a bite out of every single donut.

22.  Stains will magically appear on your son's bedroom carpet ... and he will plead the 5th to having food or juice in his room.

23.  Even if you daughters have not ONCE got a warning in school for talking or misbehaving in class ... your son WILL.  Most likely it will happen often in kindergarten.  He might even set the school record for having the most "yellow days" (yellow days are "warnings" at my kiddos school).

24.  Get use to ER bills and emergency trips to Wal-Greens when it comes to having a boy in your house.  Boys have more bumps, bruises, scraps, cuts, burns and injured body parts than known to man kind.

25.  A jump rope can be used for NUMEROUS things when looked at through your son's eyes.  He can tie it to the back of his bike ... he can tie it around his sisters neck ... he can attempt to climb a swing set with it ... he can try to use it as a dog leash when he is suspose to take the dog for a walk ... he can leave it laying out in the garage and you can trip over it ... he can use it as a lasso.

26. He can steal your heart from the moment that you lay eyes on him ... and your world will never be the same again. You will wonder what you ever did without him entertaining you and keeping you on your feet. Your heart will melt when he smiles at you. Being a Mommy to a little man ... is the best gift EVER!

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