I'm BAAAAACK!!!

Well ... it has been a little over two years since I have last blogged.

Two. Freaking. Years.

I have not logged on, checked my comments, read my emails, looked at my traffic history (shit ... I still have over 200 people a day looking at my blog ... uhhh ... what are you people even looking at???), thought about a new blog post or even kept track of my password to log on here.

So why am I suddenly blogging???

I have not the slightest clue.

All I know is ... it is 3:30 in the FREAKING MORNING ... and my alarm is set to go off in TWO FLIPPING HOURS.  I have nothing to watch on the DVR.  Infomercials just make me wanna spend money.  My husband is working 3 hours away.  I am not about to start cleaning at this hour.  My children look like angels sleeping ... so I am not about to wake them ... only for them to turn into little terrors.  So ... that just leaves ... blogging.

Why have I not blogged in over two years???

Well ... I thought you would never ask ...

Because some gross DOUSCH BAGS thought they needed to leave detailed comments on my blog ... on what they wanted to do to my daughters.

Yeah ... pretty sure my husband would have ran them over with a truck ... and then backed up ... and do it all over again ... when I showed him the comments being left. 

I honestly ... stopped blogging right then and there.

Who the hell do these idiots think they are???  Blogging was my escape ... because lord knows therapy is not in our budget.  Blogging was the way I kept all of my memories.  Blogging was my way of saying everything ... that other Mom thought ... but never admitted to.  Blogging was ... well ... it was something I did.  For me.  So screw you ... gross guy ... sitting at the computer ... with a stained white tshirt ... beer belly ... has not showered in days.

I am taking my blog back!!!

So to all of my followers ... thanks for the continued support.

And I will chat with you soon ... shoot ... I have TWO YEARS of stories to share.


Click on the link below to vote for my blog ... 2 years ago I was ranked #14 ... I have a LONG ways to go before I am back among the cool Mommy bloggers.

Who me?!?!?!?

My blog was just nominated to compete in the Top 100 Mom Blogs for 2012!!!

NO SHIT PEOPLE!!!

I can not believe it either ... I literally had to re-read the email 6 times.

But ... I need a little help from you.

Just a small favor ...

Nothing major.

I need you to click on the link to the right ----> where it says Top 100 Mom Blogs.

Once you click on that link there are some "options" to your left (wrote in blue) to choose from.

The top "option" says NOMINATE.

Click that.

Once you click on the NOMINATE word ... it will take you to another screen that says Nominate your Favorite.

You do not have to fill it all out ... only the spaces with the red astric next to it.

Mom's Name (this is your first name ... feel free to come up with any sexy-liscious diva name if you wanna).

Category: They have placed me in "Funniest" ... so scroll down and click on Funniest.

Nominee's Website: http://moorepartyof5.blogspot.com/ 

That is all you need to do.  You do not have to fill out any of the other spots ... unless you wanna be an over achiever ... and then by all means fill out the whole thing.  I was more of a "C" student ... so I have always done the "bare minimum" just to get by.  *wink*

If you do this for me ... I promise to buy you a glass of wine the next time we see one another.

*pinkie promise*

Pretty please ... with sugar ontop ...

There will be no blogging today.

Sorry.

But ... I have sick kid in the household.

Again.

Just when one gets over it and I ship them out the door ...

The school calls and has me come and get another one.

*sigh*

While I am playing doctor ...

Please take a moment and click on the cute little box below and vote for my blog.  One little click is all it takes ... and then you can go about your merry way.

Yes ... I might be loosing my mind from "being stuck in the house way to freaking long".

Day off ...

I am taking the day off from blogging today.

Yep!!!  You read right!!!

October has been one thing after another ...

and I need a break.

On the bright side ...

With October out of the way and November here it means 3 things in my world ...

1.  KU Basketball offically begins!!!

2.  I am that much closer to having my Grandma's mashed potatoes and gravy on Thanksgiving Day!!!

3.  Christmas decorations will be going up REALLY SOON!!! 
Yes ... I said really soon!!!  I normally put them up the weekend after Halloween ... but Clint refuses to get the boxes down for me until at least 2 weeks after Halloween.  And since I have no desire to get on a ladder and dangle from the ceiling trying to pull the boxes off the 10 foot shelves ... I will just go with the flow.

Please feel free to still vote for my blog ... pretty please?!?!?!

Don't forget to click on the link below and vote for my blog!

Help please ...

There is no blogging today.

Nope.

Not gonna do it.

To much to do today ... and not enough hours in the day to squeeze in blogging on the fine Monday afternoon.

The kiddos are home from school today ... so I have been bribing them with cake ... if they help me clean the house.

Needless to say ... a sugar induced clean fest has it's pros and cons.

Before the kiddos realize that I made an escape from the Scrubbing Bubbles to log into the computer and check my email ... check my facebook ... and log into my blog ...

I just wanna take a moment to beg plead demand ask you to vote for my blog.  I am currently ranked #43 out of 4285 other amazing Mommy bloggers out there.

So please take a moment ... and click on the cute little link below ... and you will cast a vote for my blog.  That is all it takes ... is a single click.  Then you are go about your merry way.  Thanks!

Blogging 101 ...

Blogging has really taken over the world.  It truely has.  Everyone shares there business with everyone else out in cyber world. 

Shoot ... my little 'ol blog has some loyal readers in Canada and Japan.

Admit it ... I just went up a couple of cool points in your book!

Word!

Now ... I am by NO MEANS a professional Mommy blogger.

My punctuation ... language ... sense of humor ... run on sentences ... mispelled words ... would make any English teacher cringe ... and truely prevent me from taking over the blogging world.

But ... My blog is listed on Top Mommy Blogs and ...

Picket Fence Blogs ..

Go ahead and click on those websites above and vote for me.  Go ahead!  I'll wait!  I promise I will be right here when you get back ...

Anyways ... there are all of these Blogging Bootcamps, Seminars, Conventions, Online articles and a ba-zillion other things people can attend when it comes to helping you out in the "Blogging World".

I recently had some education of my own on the whole Blogging phenoninon ... and learned a butt load (is butt load a word???) of things that will help me promote my blog and attract more readers.  I was also informed of ways to have search engines pull up my blog post ... which in turn ... will get followers.

You know ... kind of like a pimp for your blog.

Except I am not putting out for cash.

Here are some of the things I have recently learned .

1.  Always update your blog!
Crap!  I have had a problem with that lately.

2.  Spell check helps.
Obviously I have not taken this piece of advice to heart yet.

3.  Use a list as much as you can.
SCORE!  I nailed that one in this blog!

4.  Always have a catch-ey title and use numbers if possible.
Come on now ... when you are standing in line at the grocery store ... your eyes go straight to the Cosmo magazine that says "10 ways to blow your mans mind in the bedroom".  EVERYONE wants to read that article.  It has a "catching title" and is "using numbers".

So I think I need to change the title of this blog post ...

4 or 5 or 10 things I have discovered about blogging ...

5.  Be funny and interesting!
BONUS!  In my life ... something intersting AND funny is ALWAYS happening!  I got this blogging world in the palm of my hands!

Better change this blog title again ...
4 or 5 or 10 FUNNY things I have discovered about blogging ...

6.  Talk about anything and everything.  People wanna hear your dirty little secrets.
Not so sure my husband Clint will go for this one.  Just sayin ...

7.  Always update your blog background.
*sigh*  Do you have ANY idea how long it takes for me to change the background of my blog?!?!?!  ESPECIALLY if I redo it ... and THEN decide I do not like it.  *sigh*

8.  Define your brand as a blogger.
Does chaotic count as a brand???

9. I need to focus on my SEO ... Search Engine Optimization.
Now I am FAR from computer savey.  In fact ... I am pretty sure that my 8 year old knows more about computers than I do.  BUT ... from what I gather ... the more you add frequently searched words and phrases ... the more your blog will pull up on the search engines.  In other words ... if someone types in "boobs" ... and I randomly put the word "boobs" in my blog post ... that reader could possible stumble upon my blog ... and become a loyal reader.

Is that how you go to my blog?!?!?!?


Yes ... you over there with the beer in your hand.

Did you type in "boobs"?!?!?!

BUSTED!!!

OH!!!  And I also read that you should put those words in bold letters.


So ... basically I just need to add words like ...
1.  Sex
2.  Boobs
3.  Kim Kardashian gets married
4.  Beer
5.  Sports
6.  Politics
7.  News
8   Flat Abs
9.  Loose inches
10. Blow jobs

Better change the title to this blog post again ...
4 or 5 or 10 FUNNY things I have discovered about politics while watching the news while having sex in attempt to loose 15 pounds in 2 days to get the flat abs that I want because I drank too much beer while watching sports and blogging ...

Now THAT is one CATCHY blog title!!!

Surely google will pull up this blog post when someone starts to search tonight!!!

10.  If all else fails ... bribe and beg people to read your blog.
Don't mind if I do!!!

You all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

Pretty please ... with sugar on top?!?!?

Oh!!!  Don't forget to click on the cute little link below.  One click is all it takes to vote for my blog.  Do I need to bride you???  What about begging???

Don't foget ...

Have you voted for my blog today?!?!?

If not ... click on the link below ...

Or the link to the left hand side of the screen.

One little click votes for my blog.

It is that simple.

I am ranked #99 on the Top Mommy Blogs!!!

Out of 3655 other Mommy bloggers featered on this website ... I will gladly except being ranked #99.

You should check out some of the other Mommy bloggers listed on this website ... there are alot of really talented ... funny ... and entertaining Mommy writers out there in the cyber world!!!

Remember ... vote for me.

P.S.  Thanks Dad for voting ... I can always count on your loyal daily vote!!!

CLOSED ...

Due to the severe weather conditions ...

There will be no blogging today.

Sorry.

But this Mommy has a snow ball fight to win ...

a snowman to make ...

some snow angels to perfect ...

with three kiddos that are UBBER excited about the snow that is falling outside.

Plus ... I am tired of hearing "Can we go out in the snow yet???"

I also have to help watch Clint shovel the driveway.


Please click on the link below and vote for my blog.  One little click ... is all it takes.

Oh yes!!! That's right!!!

My blog is ranked #82 on the Top Mommy Blogs!!!

Thanks everyone for voting for me!!!

Now ... click on the button on the left hand side of the screen ... and vote for me again.

PUH-lease!

OR ... just CLICK RIGHT HERE to vote for me.

Thanks!

Later Homies.

Hey YOU ...

PSSSST ...

Hey you over there ...

The one in front of the computer ...

No ... not you ... YOU ...

Yes You!!!

Have you voted for my blog recently?!?!?!

NO?!?!?!

What the hell ...

Why not?!?!?!

CLICK HERE to go and vote for my blog.

Did you vote?!?!?

NO?!?!?!

I thought you were going to go and vote for my blog?!?!?

Well ... I will give you another chance to go and vote for my blog.

CLICK HERE to vote for my blog.

Did you do it?!?!?!

I am gonna take you word on that.  Don't let me down. 

I am keeping my eyes on you ...

Go and Vote ...

Have you voted for my blog recently?!?!

It is actually moving up the "Mommy Blog" ranks.

Click here to vote for my blog ...

P.S.  Thank you to all of you out there in cyber world ... that read my blog.  I hope our daily chaos brings a smile to your face.