Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Has it really been THAT long???

I have so many great memories from my childhood years. The toys were awesome ... my imagination was used to the fullest ... and everything was so much more "simple".

"Back in the day" ... when I was a kid ... my parents did not have to worry about us ... when they went walking down the street. My parents did not lock their doors when they left ... or have to worry about having a fenced in back yard ... for security reasons. The speed limit was alot slower ... gas was way cheeper ... and cars were made like an army tank.

The word "sex" was not something you heard on TV ... and you for sure never saw a lady in her bra ... or someone's rear end ... on the TV in the middle of the day. Things seemed to be more "reserved" ... "layed back" ... and "calmer" when I was a kid.

Now ... there are times I have to flip off the TV in a nano second ... because there is something a tad bit to "risky" on the TV for my kids to see. The Trogan Condom commercials ... give me a break! That would never have been seen on TV when I was a child. The Hardee's commercials ... with the half naked girl eating a burger ... give me a break!

Anyways ... Hold onto your leg warmers folks ... we are going down memory lane.

Here is it ... my childhood put into list a form:

* Aerobic instructors wore leotards
* Bright pink lipstick
* Love My Eyes was the "cool" eyeshadow to buy
 * Snorkles * Colored rubber bands on braces
 * Side ponytails
 * Debbie Gibson
 * Water games * Rainbow Brite
* Barbie Dream House
* Sit n Spin
* My Pet Monster
* Frogger
* Pac Man
* Get Along Gang
* Valley Girl talk
* Wuzzles
* Furby
* Sister Sister
* Four Square
* Milli Vanilli
* Nobody was stronger than Dad
* Nobody was cooler than Mom
* The song: Livin on a Prayer ... sing it with me now ...

She says we've got to hold on to what we've got.
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We got each other and that's a lot.
For love we'll give it a shot!
Oh, we're half way there.
Oh oh, livin' on a prayer.
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear.
Oh oh, livin' on a prayer

* Beanie Babies
* POGO Balls

* Slumber parties
* Friendship beads that you put on a safety pin ... and put it on your shoe.
* Shoulder pads
* Cruising up and down Main Street
* Night Rider
* Alphie

* Bernstein Bears
* Sandbox made out of 4 boards
* George Michael
* Romana the Brave
* Cosby show
* MC Hammer pants
* Pants tucked into socks
* Book It
* Ricki Lake
* Geraldo
* Montel
* Sally Jessie Raphael ... and her red glasses
* Maury
* Playing MASH ... Mansion, Apartment, Shack or House

* OJ Simpson Trial
* The cartoon: DOUG
* Trapper Keeper
* I've fallen and I can't get up.
* Show Biz Pizza
* Planter's Cheese Balls use to come in a round container and had a yellow lid
* Cereal use to have a surprise at the bottom of the box ... after all ... what kind of prize that was in the box determined what cereal my sister and I picked out for the week.
* Trick or Treat Pails at McDonald's

* When you could get a small pack of stick gum for 25 cents
* Encyclopedia's ... thank goodness we have google now
* VCR ... so we could watch our VHS tape
* HUGE longest distance bills
* Silk button up shirts
* Pay Phones
* Candy cigarettes
* Gum cigars
* Charm necklaces
* Jello Pudding Pops ... vanilla was my favorite

* McDonald's sold collector glasses
* HUGE OVERSIZED poms poms when I was a cheerleader.
* Polaroid Camera
* Sticker books
* Paper dolls
* Light Bright
* Floppy disk
* Little Mermaid
* Toy Story 1
* Cinderella
* Gas was under a $1.00
* Dunk A Roos  

* Scrunchi's for your hair

Speaking of hair ...

* Mousse ... and lots of it. The crunchy-er the hair ... the better.
* Sun-In
* Overalls
* Mullet ... Business in the front and party in the back

* Black addidas shoes with 3 white stripes
* Birkenstock shoes
* Monchichi

* Pretty in Pink
* Sixteen Candles
* Glamour shots
* President Ronald Reagan ... and Nancy Reagan
* Challenger explosion
* Friday nights when Dallas was on. Who killed J.R. was a HUGE question for a really long time ...
* A-Team
* Mo-hawks
* Large neon hoop earrings
* Swatch Watches ... LOVED THEM

* Party of 5
* Fanny Packs ... although I never had one. Honest! I didn't!
* Choose your own adventure books
* Little Golden Books
* See Dick run. See Jane run.
* BIG lace hair bows
* Sunglasses with paint drippings on them
* Fisher Price brown and yellow record player

* Mood rings
* Purple Passion alcohol
* The Love Boat
* Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
* Seasme Street ... gotta love Bert and Ernie
* The show called: Dinosaurs ... "Not the Momma" and "I'm the baby. Gotta love me."
* Pop that came in glass bottles
* If you had to change the channel on the TV ... you had to actually get up and turn the knob on the TV.
* Popples

* Facts of Life
* Family Ties
* Rat Tails ... Still not sure why people thought that was a "cool thing' to do to their hair.
* Smurfs
* Jelly bracelets
* Three's Company
* Chain letters
* Tight rolled jeans
* Perfection ... I always put the circle in first. It was in the dead center ... and the easiest piece of find.

* Scratch and Sniff stickers
* Tom and Jerry
* Bugs Bunny
* Watching a movie at a Drive In
* Typewriters
* Hitting the "record button" on your boom box when your favorite song came on the radio
* Moon walking
* The fall of the Berlin Wall
* Speak and Spell

* Vanilla Ice Ice Baby ... sing it with me now:

Rollin' in my 5.0.
With my rag-top down so my hair can blow.
The girlies on standby ... waving just to say hi.
Did you stop ... no I just drove by.
Kept on pursuing to the next stop.
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block.
The block was dead.
Yo so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue.

* Box Car Children Books
* Pee Wee's Play House ... "I know you are but what am I?"
* Birthday parties use to be held at McDonald's
* Top Gun
* Happy Days
* Lemonade stands
* Smurfs
* Cassette tapes
* Simon Memory Game ... I was the QUEEN of this game

* Flat top haircuts
* Jetsons
* Flintstones
* Eating out at McDonald's ... when the sandwiches were served in styrophome boxes
* The song: Pour Some Sugar On Me ... sing it with me now ...

Step inside, walk this way.
You and me babe, hey hey!
Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on.
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone.
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp.
Demolition woman, can I be your man?
(Your man, hey, hey!)
Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light.
Television lover, baby, go all night.
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet.
Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah.

* Garbage Pail Kids
* Cadbury eggs were so much larger than they are now
* Cindy Lauper
* Teen Wolf
* Reading Rainbow
* Eeny, meeny, miny, mo
* Strawberry Shortcake
* Hyper Color T-shirts
* Little Professor ... of course my Mom (AKA: a teacher) bought me this darn thing as a child. As cute as the little thing was ... it was my worst nightmare. I can still hear it saying "Please try again" all the darn time. Oh how I hate math. *ugh*

* Tang ... I drank that stuff ALL.THE.TIME.
* Flash light tag
* Hop-scotch
* Carebears ... "Care Bears STARE"
* Yo-Yo's were cool
* Push Pops
* You knew who Michael Jordan was ... even if you never watched the NBA.
* Troll Dolls
* Merry go rounds were at every park
* Tetter Totters
* Saying, "Then why don't you marry it."
* Walkman
* C + J = TRL ... 80's defination Clint + Jill = True Love Forever
* Merlin ... I remember I always wanted one and my Mom finally caved in and bought me one at a garage sale one time. I never did figure out how to play that darn thing.
* Blue eye shadow
* Neon socks
* Scrunch Socks ... You KNOW you did this one! You wore different colors and then layered them opposite on each foot. One foot would have a pink then an orange on top and the scrunched part would be on the bottom half then the other foot would be orange with pink on top with the pink on the bottom half.
* Jean Jackets ... which are still popular
* The Wet Banana Slip n Slides
* Heads Up 7 Up
* Hula Hoops
* Red Rover red Rover send Sally right over ...
* Shasta Pop
* $5 seemed like a million dollars
* Reebok hightops

* Slinky ... I never could get those darn things to work right. Then again ... we did not have any stairs in our house ... so that could have been part of the problem.
* Rubix cube

* The song: Like a Virgin ... sing it with me now ...

I made it through the wilderness.
Somehow I made it through.
Didn't know how lost I was.
Until I found you.
I was beat incomplete.
I'd been had, I was sad and blue.
But you made me feelYeah, you made me feel.
Shiny and new.
Like a virgin.
Touched for the very first time.
Like a virgin.
When your heart beats.
Next to mine.

* JEM dolls
* Joey saying "WOAH" on Blossom
* Boom boxes ... and how some people carried them around on one shoulder

* The song: "We are the world" ... sing it with me now:

We are the world.
We are the children.
We are the ones who make a brighter day ... so let's start giving.
There's a choice we're making.
We're saving our own lives.
It's true we'll make a better day.
Just you and me.

* "What are you talkin about Willis?"
* Metal Lunchboxes with a MATCHING thermos ... on a side note: Mine was the Dukes of Hazard

Which means I need to list an obvious ...
* Dukes of Hazard ... I am 99% sure that Bo would have married me if I would not have been 5 years old at the time.

* Saying "Talk to the hand" ... Dad, I added that in there just for you. *giggle*
* Kirk Cameron ... need I say more?!?!?!  YUMMY!!!

* Transformers
* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
* G.I. Joe
* Teddy Rumpkinz
* Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack ... All dressed in Black Black Black
* California Raisins
* Fraggle Rock
* Macerena ... You KNOW you are doing that darn dance in your head RIGHT NOW! Admit it! You KNOW you are!
* Lace Fingerless Gloves ... Madonna was an awesome dresser!
* Going roller skating on Friday and Saturday night
* Lucky rabbit's foot
* Pac Man
* Saturday mornings actually HAD cartoons on it
* Crimped hair
* Atari
* Saved By the Bell ... I was IN LOVE with Zack!!!  (and still am)
* Glow Worm
* Side walk chalk
* Big Wheels
* Don't worry be happy now ...
* Halloween costumes were a plastic face mask with string to put around your head ... and then a large plastic "sack" to wear on your body
* No Whammy! No Whammy! No Whammy! STOP!
* The song "Party like it is 1999" seemed like a zillion years away.
* UNDERROOS!!! I had Wonderwoman ... and I thought I was the BOMB in those things!!!
* T-Shirt clips

* Parachute pants
* Tie-dyed shirts
* Penny loafers ... and you HAD to have a penny in the front of the shoe
* Leg warmers
* Jelly shoes
* New Kids on the Block
* Button fly jeans
* Pepe Jeans
* Cabbage Patch Dolls
* Shirt Tails
* Breakdancing
* Magic 8 Ball
* Mr. Men and Little Miss
* Molly Ringwald ... She was in every 80's movie I think.
* Baskets were "cool" to have on the front of your bike. And they normally had a large purple or pink flower on them.
* Torn work out shirts
* Stone washed jeans
* Michael Jackson ... I still can not believe the King of Pop is no longer alive. *sigh*

* BIG bangs. And man oh my could I rock those bangs like a rockstar!!!
Which leads me to a very important part of the "Big Bangs" section of my life ...

* Aqua Net or Rave hairspray ...  I might be the sole reason there is a hole in the ozone with all of the hairspray I used in the 9
* Metal TV tray that had cartoon images on them.
* Smurfs
* Muppets show on Sundays
* Wooden puzzles for Toddlers
* Diary with a small lock and a small key
* Banana clips
* Barrettes with things hanging from them You remember ... ribbons were woven through them. Usually two different colors, and hung beads on the end of the ribbon.
* Pound Puppies
* You ended a sentence with the word "Psych"
* Gremblins
* E.T.
* LA Gear
* Jordache jeans ... that was some rockin fashion
* Sweet Valley High
* Plastic Spring Bracelet
* Madonna
* Miami Vice look
* He-Man
* Biker Shorts ... Of course we had to wear them under miniskirts and under short shorts
* Stirrup pants
* Etch-A-sketch
* Monopoly
* Kangaroo brand shoes ... remember ... they had the small zipper pocket on the side of each shoe
* View Master ... you know ... those red binocular looking things that you put a white circle disk in it ... and then look at different photos.
* Mr. T
*Punky Brewster
*Beverly Hills 90210
* Babysitter Club books ... I SO BADLY wanted to be a member of their group.

Well ...

There you have it.

Two LONG days of me reminiscing-flashing back-reliving-remembering-thinking back-going through my memory-looking back-recalling-recollect-returning to my childhood and enjoying all the memories of days gone by in my life.

Unfortunately ... all this blog really did in the end ... was make me think to myself ... "Has it really been THAT long ..."?!?!?!?!

And keep saying to myself ... "Am I really THAT old???"

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Friday, December 12, 2014

Who eats poop???

So we have an Elf on the Shelf ... his name is Mr. Ed.  We had him ... well before these little creatures took over the internet ... and peoples homes.

When we brought our Elf on the Shelf into our home ... Harleigh ... my middle daughter ... who was 5 at the time ...  was absolutely terrified of it.  TERRIFIED!!!  Like ... refused to sleep in her own room for 3 weeks after Christmas ... terrified.

Then ... they got a little bit older ... and realized that the elf was not gonna kill them in their sleep.  So I decided to attempt it again.  Only problem was ... I had no idea where I hid our original one ... all I could remember was that my husband told our middle daughter that he sent that elf back to the North Pole to live there for good.  It was either that ... or she was going to be a permanent fixture in our bed till she moved out for college.

I just happened to find this cute little "off brand" $4 one at Hobby Lobby and attempted to bring our elf back into our Christmas routine.

It worked.

Mr. Ed has been apart of our lives for 4 years now.

99% of the time ... I don't even remember to move Mr, Ed ... until AFTER I am all comfy in bed and moments before I fall asleep.

But ... a few days ago ... Mr. Ed did not return after his weekend back at the North Pole.

You see ... Mr. Ed is one of the most important elves at the North Pole ... so he travels back to the North Pole every Friday and does not return till Monday morning so I get a break from coming up with something clever for the little shit to do.

Except this last Monday ... he did not return.  Instead ... his girlfriend, Vicky (who is hoping that Mr. Ed proposes on New Years Eve) left a letter for us.

The letter said:

Dear Breeanna, Harleigh and Eythen:

Mr, Ed will not be coming back Monday morning.  Santa needed help with cleaning up the reindeer poop.  Mr. Ed volunteered to help out and take over poop duty for the big guy.  He likes the over time pay elves get for shoveling poop.  He promises to be back on Tuesday.  He even said he would bring you back some reindeer poop to eat.  Yummy!!!

Much Love:
Mr. Ed's one true love

Needless to say ... I was frantically unwrapping Hershey kisses at 5am on Tuesday morning ... because I forgot all about our elf returning.

The reindeer poop was placed in a bucket ... with Mr. Ed sitting right on top ... just in time for my son to wake up for the day.

That day after school this was the conversation I had with my son.

*takes one of the Hershey kisses reindeer poop and eats it*

Eythen:  This reindeer poop sure is good.

Me:  I am pretty sure it is chocolate, Eythen.

Eythen:  No.  I don't think so.  I think it is some kind of magical reindeer poop that taste really good.

Me:  Yeah ... still think it is chocolate.

Eythen:  I really don't think that is it.

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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Who me???

Look ... over there!!!

On the right hand side of my page!!!

I got awarded a new award!!!

I got awarded the Top 115 Parenting Blog award!!!

It's a real thing ... I think.

At least Google says it is real ... and Google knows EVERYTHING.  Shoot ... Google knew that the medical diagnosis that I was trying to find ... was NOT a normal cold.  Oh no!!!  I guess it was actually a rare disease ... that only 1 in 508403785430 people get.  Google also knew that I was NOT trying to find things about Monkeys ... but instead I was actually trying to find things about Monks that shave their heads.  Google is smart like that!!!

None the less ... they sent me a cool badge that I could put on my blog ... so that makes it legit.

Totally. Legit.

I guess people really read this darn thing.

Huh ... who would have thought?!?!?!

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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Someone catch me if I fall ...

I would just like to fill you in on how my Monday morning at the gym went ...

*  pull up to gym and stare at the gym door

*  debate about turning around and coming home because it is so cold outside

*  do not wanna have to these adorable Senior Citizens ... whom are power walking up to the gym doors think that I am a "wuss"

*  whimper a little bit as the cold air hits me the second I open up my Navigator doors

*  think to myself that being called a "wuss" is not such a bad thing

*  open up gym doors and drag myself inside

*  immediately see a cute little girl in a sports bra and booty shorts ... laying on the floor working out her extremely flat ... never had a baby in her tummy before ... not a single stretch mark in sight ... tan as can be considering summer was months ago ... tight abs

*  call her a bitch under my breath

*  walk past skinny little bitch laying on floor and secretly wanna trip over her

*  get on ellipitical machine

*  nearly fall off ellipitical machine while trying to put my ear phones on

*  looking around to make sure skinny little bitch ... who is now doing lunges across the floor ... did not see me nearly take a nose dive off the ellipitical machine

*  working up a sweat

*  certain I have been on eliptical for at least 45 minutes

*  nope ... a minute and a half


*  debate with myself if 2 minutes is a good warm up

*  skinny little bitch is still doing lunges across the floor

*  pretty sure I am about to have a heart attack if I do not get off the eliptical machine

*  legs feel like jello

*  debate on sticking foot out to "accidentally" trip skinny little bitch in her sports bra and booty shorts who is now jump roping

*  must do leg workout ... but not sure if my limp legs can even comprehend what they are suppose to do

*  owie

*  oh shit that hurts

*  attention ... anyone ... EXCEPT skinny bitch ... catch me if I fall ... my legs are noodles

*  skinny little bitch leaves just in time for me to be able to do my lunges across the gym

*  my lunges do not look nearly as pretty as hers did

*  debate with myself on if my butt looks big in the yoga pants I have on ... as I watch myself in the mirror doing lunges

*  yep ... my butt looks big

*  what was that noise???

*  oh crap!!!  my stomach is growling

*  not a good time for my body to be making noises

*  good thing skinny little bitch is no longer here to hear my bodily noises

*  start to think about what I am gonna have for lunch as I go across the floor ... with my legs feeling like jello ... trying to do the lunges ... with my big butt following me

*  a cheeseburger sure does sound good

*  great ... now I am thirsty

*  i wonder if there is a pop machine around here

*  oh yeah ... no sugar ... fucking stupid diabetes

*  nope ... just a stupid germy water fountain

shit GROSS

*  cardio done ... legs done ... now onto the abs

*  young muscular guy enters gym

*  young muscular guy thinks everyone is checking him out

*  young muscular guy ... who thinks he is the bomb ... is already annoying me

*  young muscular guy ... lifting weights ... over by the area ... I need to be at to do my ab workout


* young muscular guy ... now taking a selfie ... in the mirror ... while flexing

* I might have possibly just thrown up in my mouth a little bit.  Not exactly sure if it is from working out ... or the annoying muscular guy thinking he is all that and a bag of chips

* oh chips!!!  that sounds amazing right now!!!

*  standing in the middle of the gym like a lost little girl because I do not wanna take my big butt in yoga pants ... over to the same area as young muscular guy ... and his young muscular friend who just joined him ... are currently still taking selfies in the mirror

*  pretending like I am stretching in hopes they leave the area

*  secretly hoping they drop a dumbbell on their toe as they admire themselves in the mirror ... as they do their arm workout

*  screw this ... I will just take my yoga pant wearing ... 3 baby having ... junk in the trunk behind ... no makeup on ... oversized sweatshirt ... really wanting a Dr. Pepper ... home and do my ab work out infront of the cat and dog

*  begin to wonder if the cat and dog secretly laugh at me

*  quickly saying a prayer that I do not fall ... due to my jello legs ... as I walk across the gym floor

*  debate on which gym I would switch to if I did fall face first on the gym floor

*  whimper slightly as the cold air hits me once I open the gym doors

*  curl up around my steering wheel while my back hurts from shaking so hard because my Navigator is freezing cold

Just wait till you hear about my workout on Wednesday ... it was arm day ... and the gym was full of Senior Citizens.

Note to self:  Come to the gym when I am the only one there.  Perhaps 1 a.m. is a good time?!?!?

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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

God put good people in my life ...

My husband has been out of town working ... for 11 months ... out of the past 15 months.

YES ... you read that right.

My husband is a proud Pipefitter for the Union ... and travels a lot for his job.

It sucks.

Sucks big time.

But at the same time ... I feel HORRIBLE even complaining venting fucking loosing my mind  stating the factor ... because there are MILLIONS of single parents doing it day in and day out.


AND they are working 40 or more hours a week.

If not multiple jobs.

There are military families ... that their spouse is away protecting our country ... and they are at home holding down the fort ... Every. Single. Day.

So I feel silly even having a mental break down pitty party every now and then ... for myself.

But ... I do have my moments ... and I normally hide in the bathroom and cry.

Then I feel all better after I drink a bottle of wine.

Let me just say ... the kids and I eventually got into our own little "groove" ... but  my groove seems to involve wine more and more often lately.

At this point in time ... cereal counts as a full course meal.

If you have showered at least twice in a 7 day time span ... that is an accomplishment.

If you ring my doorbell ... chances are I am not gonna answer my door ... because I can not clear out a path quickly enough ... to open the door for you.

Dirty socks are completely acceptable to wear.

Vacuuming ... what is the fucking point???

Sometimes ... just simply getting the clothes out of the washer ... and into the dryer ... BEFORE mildew sets in ... is an accomplishment for me.

Shoot ... combing my hair BEFORE I walk out the door in the morning ... is a MAJOR accomplishment for me.

The Moms that cook all healthy with organic foods ... well ... congratulations.  I guess. Shit ... I am lucky if my kids get the bananas ate ... BEFORE they are a solid black mushy mess.

I have learned how to plunge a toilet ... because my son is a pooping machine.

Most importantly ... I have realized how UNBELIEVABLY blessed I am when it comes to the people God has put into our life.  I am NOT one that likes to ask for help.  I HATE asking for help ... because it makes me feel like a failure.  I mean ... they are my kids ... and if I can not manage their schedule ... then that makes me look like a screw up failure.

About 5 months ago ... I had a friend tell me ... that if she did not want to help ... then she would not offer.  And by me turning her down ... then I am not allowing her to be the kind of friend that she wants to be for me.  Those words have stuck with me.  It is true ... if people did not wanna help ... they would never offer ... and would just avoid the conversation all together.

So ... slowly but surely ... I have admitted defeat ... and began to ask for help.

I need to thank those of you that have feed my kids on the way to Vacation Bible School ... when I forgot to.

I need to thank my friends for simply checking in on me.

I need to thank my new neighbor that offered me her car ... when ours broke down.

I need to thank the amazing neighbors that have baked cookies and meals for me and the kids.

I need to thank our friends who came to get us ... when my SUV broke down.

I need to thank my bestfriend for letting me vent ... when I was having a mental breakdown ... even when she was going through something in her life as well,

I need to thank my sister for answering the phone whenever she sees my name on her caller id ... and just talking to me for hours ... just so I can have some adult conversation.

I need to thank the baseball coaches and parents ... that help Clint with his baseball team ... that did not judge me when I was way late a few minutes late for practice.  Shoot ... I need to thank them for helping me get Eythen to and from MANY of his baseball games ... because I could not be there.  And simply cheering him on for me ... just as if he was one of your own.

I need to thank the people that drove clear out to our house ... and helped me get Harleigh to school when she was on crutches the last week of school.

I need to thank the people that have also helped get Harleigh to and from her softball practice ... and basketball games through out this time.

I need to thank the parent that noticed Bree was lingering around at the dance studio ... and sat in the parking lot ... until they saw me pulling in.  You did not have to do that ... but you did ... and it was so very nice.  Plus ... those amazing Dance Moms that have helped me get Bree to and from the dance studio.

I need to thank my Mom and Dad.  I really do not even know where to start.  You seem to know when I need "rescued" and show up.  You drive up here ... in a drop of a hat ... when it feels like everything is going wrong.  You put a new lock on my back door so I feel safer.  You help me mop up the basement when it flooded ... and drag wet carpet up the stairs and out the door.  You took the kids to the movies ... and let me take a 2 hour nap.  You instantly came up when I realized I had a random mouse in the house ... and put traps up all over the place.  You had pizza delivered to the house on Clint's and my Anniversary ... because I was sad that I was not gonna see him.

I need to thank a friend who just happened to be over here ... when we discovered there was a mouse in one of the moving boxes.  Even though I screamed ... and jumped ontop of the counter ... and we were laughing so hard we had tears falling down our face ... she still got the darn mouse out of the house.

I need to thank the friend who left 2 bottles of wine at my front door.  I think I like you the best  *wink*

Originally ... the hubby was suppose to be home in October.  Then it got moved to November.  Then we heard December 15th ... now we are back to the unknown.  He has been working 7 days a week ... 12 hour days ... FOR THE NIGHT SHIFT!!!  This man is my hero.  I do not know ANYONE that could continue to do what he has done for months up end.  He is truly an amazing person. 

Not many people would drive all the way home ... when he should be sleeping ... to help me with a leaking pipe.

Not many people would drive all the way home ... when he should be sleeping ... just to spend 30 minutes with his son up at the school for breakfast.

Not many people would drive all the way home ... when he should be sleeping ... to help me get my broke down SUV up to the mechanic shop.

Not many people ... are as hard working as my husband ... and I love him more than words could EVER describe.

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Saturday, October 25, 2014


Well ... it has been a little over two years since I have last blogged.

Two. Freaking. Years.

I have not logged on, checked my comments, read my emails, looked at my traffic history (shit ... I still have over 200 people a day looking at my blog ... uhhh ... what are you people even looking at???), thought about a new blog post or even kept track of my password to log on here.

So why am I suddenly blogging???

I have not the slightest clue.

All I know is ... it is 3:30 in the FREAKING MORNING ... and my alarm is set to go off in TWO FLIPPING HOURS.  I have nothing to watch on the DVR.  Infomercials just make me wanna spend money.  My husband is working 3 hours away.  I am not about to start cleaning at this hour.  My children look like angels sleeping ... so I am not about to wake them ... only for them to turn into little terrors.  So ... that just leaves ... blogging.

Why have I not blogged in over two years???

Well ... I thought you would never ask ...

Because some gross DOUSCH BAGS thought they needed to leave detailed comments on my blog ... on what they wanted to do to my daughters.

Yeah ... pretty sure my husband would have ran them over with a truck ... and then backed up ... and do it all over again ... when I showed him the comments being left. 

I honestly ... stopped blogging right then and there.

Who the hell do these idiots think they are???  Blogging was my escape ... because lord knows therapy is not in our budget.  Blogging was the way I kept all of my memories.  Blogging was my way of saying everything ... that other Mom thought ... but never admitted to.  Blogging was ... well ... it was something I did.  For me.  So screw you ... gross guy ... sitting at the computer ... with a stained white tshirt ... beer belly ... has not showered in days.

I am taking my blog back!!!

So to all of my followers ... thanks for the continued support.

And I will chat with you soon ... shoot ... I have TWO YEARS of stories to share.

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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Move over Wendy's ... my Frosty is just as good!!!

I LOVE Frosty's from Wendy's.


Pretty sure I ate one daily when I was pregnant with Breeanna.

They are SO GOOD!!!

Which is why when I discovered a recipe for a homemade version of a Wendy's Frosty ...

I. Was. In.

1/2 gallon of chocolate milk

1 can of Sweetened Condensed Milk

1 container of whipped topping

Put in your ice cream maker ...


Yummy chocolate goodness!!!

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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Happy Birthday to my favorite 35 year old!!!

This year instead of getting Clint a delicious yummy straight to my ass chocolate cake ...

I decided to go a different route ...

Happy Birthday Clint!!!

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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Useful information ...

Can't remember which side of the car your gas tank is on???

Look at your gas gauge.

Most cars have a small arrow pointing to the side that the tank is located.

Having one car ...

A SUV ...

And a turck ...

I can neve remember which side it which.

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Sunday, August 12, 2012

Such is my life ...

When something funny or outrageous happens in my life ...

Which lets face it ... is all the time ...

I think to myself ...

Why the heck don't I have my own television show by now???

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Friday, July 6, 2012

Dear Clint:

I know it is hard to believe that I am right 98% of the time ... but that just goes to show you how truely awesome of a wife you married.

The other 2% of the time is normally involving something that has to do with Math or anything related to football.

Love: The one that does your laundry

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Thursday, June 28, 2012

H.O.T. ...

You know it is to flippin hot outside ...

When even the ice cream truck melts!!!

Don't forget to vote for my blog before you melt in this flippin heat!!!
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Another reason ...

Reason #4593 that Clint and I were meant to be together:

If you have someone in your life ... who laughs at the same crap you do ... no matter how messed up it may be.

They are your solemate.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

This is so my life ...

Since you are inside the AC surfing the internet ... avoiding the 100 degree weather ... take a moment and vote for my blog.  Just click on the link below.  One vote per day makes me a happy camper!!!
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Saturday, June 23, 2012

Bring on the next party ...

Everyone has seen a sock monkey before.

Many of us probably had one as a child.

BUT ... have you seen a Wine Monkey before???


What the hell people!!!

Get with the times homies!!!

I am SO taking this to the next party Clint and I are invited to.

I will be the coolest cat on the block walking in with a sock monkey wine holder.

Either that ...

Or I will not be invited back for the next social gathering.

Either way ...

I will make a freaking statement!

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