Friday, August 20, 2010

Things I am teaching my children ...

*I am teaching my children ... TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other do it outside - I just finished cleaning."



*I am teaching my children about ... RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

*I am teaching my children about ... TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to throw you into the middle of next week."


*I am teaching my children about ... LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."

*I am teaching my children about ... IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll "give" you something to cry about."


*I am teaching my children about ... OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."


*I am teaching my children about ...  CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at the dirt on the back on your neck!"


*I am teaching my children ... STAMINA - "You'll sit there till all those peas are finished."


*I am teaching my children about ... WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."


*I am teaching my children how to solve ... PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming towards you; would you then listen?"


*I am teaching my children about ... HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once I've told you a million times ... Don't Exaggerate!!!"


*I am teaching my children about ... THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - " I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


*I am teaching my children about ... BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father."


*I am teaching my children about ... ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

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