Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I heart being a Mommy ...

I have 3 of the most amazing kids. They are beautiful, smart, well mannered, and the light of my life.  But when exactly did they grow up?

To me, I can still remember the exact moment I found out I was pregnant with each of them.  I can remember the moment they each were born and tears fell down my face.  I can remember having to leave each one of them at the babysitter for the first time after my maturnity leave was over . . . I can remember sitting in the car wondering if they were going to be ok, where they going to miss me, would they wonder if I was coming back, would they love the daycare provider more than they loved me . . .

All of those moments, plus SO many more are things that I will forever hold in my memory.

I think back to all the "experiences" that I went through and learned SO much from.  The first time you change a diaper and they are still going as you change it.  When you are in the car driving somewhere, but they HAVE to be fed right then and there . . . so you pull over into a parking lot or the first place you can get to and pull out the bottle to feed them.  How about when they are toddlers and you have a full cart of groceries and they HAVE to go to the bathroom.  So you find a "safe spot" to put your cart and head into the bathroom where you squeeze all 4 of you (me, Breeanna, Harleigh and Eythen) into a stall so everyone can take a potty break.  What about when you are out and about and you turn around to do a "number check" (yes I count to myself 1 - 2 - 3) and suddenly your heart drops and the blood rushes to your face because one of them is no longer in your sight.  The first time one of them throws a fit in the middle of a public place (I can thankfully say that has only happened to me once with little Miss Harleigh Jene when she just turned 2). You TRUELY look at other Mom's in a different light when you see them going through it . . . you think to yourself "that poor Mom".  How about when a child is just learning to feed themselves and you go to a restaurant and they sit in a highchair ... you get up to leave and there is a HUGE mess on the floor. (As a Mom you walk away feeling horrible and wanna apologize to each and everyone that you pass ... but you want your child to have the experience and try it themselves.)  How about when they enter school and they walk away from you for the very first time and enter the school building ... and you can not be there.  You can not tell everyone how great they are, play with them at recess if no one else wants to, tell them to take 5 more bites of lunch so they are not hungry later, or sit by them to help them with their work if they do not understand how to do it.  As a Mom, you have to let go of their hand and walk the other way.  Oh yes, if you are anything like me tears are falling down your face at the sametime ... but you are so very proud of them for being so much braver than you are at that moment.  How about when you tip toe into their room while they are sleeping and just stare at them.  You can not take your eyes off of them.  They are so peaceful and innoncent.  Not to mention . . . you secretly watch their midsection to watch for movement (a Mom will always continue to check to make sure they are breathing no matter how old they are).  What about when they get sick . . . I mean really sick.  A fever that you can not get to go down, or a horrible cough that scares you when you hear it. What about if they have a rash or a bite on them that you have no idea what it is ... if you are anything like me your mind starts to race and all you wanna do is take them to the ER and spend that LARGE amount of money just to hear the doctor say "they will be just fine".  Did you know that the Tooth Fairy cries???  Well, it does ... When I was the tooth fairy for the very first time 3 summers ago ... I walked out of Breeanna's room with tears in my eyes ... how could she be old enough to be loosing her first tooth?  How about the first time someone is mean to YOUR child.  Lordy be . . . that is one of the worst feelings when your child comes home from school in tears becasue someone said something mean to them.  You wanna tell them that some people are f**kers, but you polietly tell them that they need to keep being nice to everyone even if this person is mean.  Then you hug them and you never wanna let go . . . you know that if you keep them in your arms then nothing can hurt them.  You can protect them from all the bad things in life ... but you open your arms back up, look down at them, smile and tell them how wonderful they are.

Being a Mom is the most wonderful gift that I have EVER received.  Everyone tells you that the moment you become a Mom your world changes ... and it is so true.  The moments you walk into their room, and even though you are SO sleep deprived that you can hardly see straight, but you look down in that crib and see their big "gummy" smile . . . it is all worth it.

Of course ... I have realized one other thing as well. You treasure those "me moments" as well. Even if you are roaming around in Target not picking up a darn thing, you drive extra slow to Sonic to get a drink, you shut the bathroom door while you are one the phone (but lets face it . . . they still find you in there), or you go to a PTO meeting for that one hour. You somehow still miss those little smiles. Your heart begins to miss them and you cannot get back through that door fast enough . . . the chaos, the mess, and the screams welcome you back home with open arms.

I heart being a Mommy!


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