Thursday, July 23, 2009

Before I was a Mom ...

May 1st, 2007

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
I read this poem, and every inch of me felt these words. How true it is, that in that very moment of holding your child for the first time . . . everything changes. Your "top priorities" are not what they once were. Poker night turns into numerous games of CandyLand. Girls night consist of watching The LIttle Mermaid and eating popcorn on the couch with your little one. Your "nights out" become "nights in" and you do not mind it at all. Your hopes and dreams that you had earlier in life, turn in an instant into wanting everything to be perfect for your child. Laughing at drunk nights, turns into laughing at what your child said or did that day. You realize that your future is their future and you want them to have it all. You want them to do more, see more, and achieve more than you ever thought that you could do, see and achieve. Everything that you once wanted in life . . . you are now holding in your own arms at that very moment that they come into this world.

I love you, Breeanna, Harleigh, and Eythen


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