The day Mommy lost it ...

I was reading a fellow Mommy bloggers post today ... and she was blogging about how she locked her keys in the car ... with her children in it.

*panic*

I laughed the whole way through her blog post ... because I could TOTALLY relate.

Yes ... unfortunately ... I locked my children in the car at one point in my Mommy experience as well.  Reading her blog post ... made me flash back to that instant moment that I completely lost it in the Old Navy parking lot. 

Completely. Lost. It.

I am CERTAIN that if there were security cameras in that parking lot ... at that time ... I would have been on the local news ... requesting anyone to call 911 if they had ever seen this psycho Mom on the loose.

Let me set up the scenerio for you.

It is a doozy.

I promise.

Breeanna was 6 ... Harleigh was 5 ... and Eythen was 3.  It was past dinner time.  It was getting dark and pretty cool outside.  AND my husband had been living THREE hours away for the past FOUR months ... for a job site that he was running ... AND we had only seen him 3 times in this duration of time span.

So ... as you can already see ... I was tired ... cranky ... hungry ... cold ... ready for it to be bed time for my 3 children ... needing a glass of wine ... and sex deprieved ... all at the sametime.

As we came out of the Old Navy parking lot ... I loaded up all 3 kids in their carseats ... put my purse in the front seat ... layed my keys in the console ... and started to get in the SUV while holding the Old Navy bags in my hand.

As I hopped into the front seat ... I suddenly realized that the girls bookbags were in the front seat ... so I decided that I was gonna put the Old Navy bags in the back end of the Sequoia.

I hopped out.

Locked the door.

Shut the door.

Went to the back of the SUV ... and began to hit my head on the backend of my Sequoia.

My. Keys. Were. In. The. Console.

My. Children. Were. Buckled. Up.

My. Husband. Was. Three. Hours. Away.

Shit.

I walked around to the backseat windows and tried peering in through the VERY dark tinted windows.

Whose brillant idea was it to tint these stupid windows?!?!?

I tried hand gestures ...

I tried crying ...

I tried screaming ...

At the kids through the dark ass windows.

Finally ... Breeanna unbuckled ... and I motioned her to the front seat.

Suddenly ... I turned into a crazed mime ... doing hand gestures ... trying to get Breeanna to hit the unlock button on the door handle.

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

Mother F**ker!!!  Breeanna hit the panic button on the door handle ... not the unlock button!!!

Who the heck puts a panic button in a car?!?!?  Stupid car makers!!!

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

Breeanna takes off to the 3rd row seating of the car ... crying.

I walked around in a crazed circle for about 55 seconds ...

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

I might have even been possibly screaming to myself while pulling at my hair at this point in time ... but the world will never know for sure ... because there were no security cameras to catch this break down that I was going through.

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

I walked back to the passenger side windows and began frantically hitting the windows ... begging for Breeanna to come back to the front seat.  I could barely see her through the tinted windows ... hiding in the third row seating.

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

Out of the corner of my eye ... I noticed a couple sitting in their car ... watching the comedy/horror movie that was playing out right before them.  If they would of had time to pop some popcorn ... I am pretty sure they would have.  I am also pretty sure they were debating on calling 911.

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

Suddenly I see tramatized little Harleigh come to the front seat.

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*


I start frantically pointing and screaming "HIT THE UNLOCK BUTTON"!!!

She just keeps shrugging her shoulders.

*BEEP*


*BEEP*


*BEEP*

I mumble some more cuss words.

She shruggs her shoulders some more.

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*


I start to hit the window begging her to HIT THE UNLOCK BUTTON!!!


FINALLY ... what seems like 4 hours of this STUPID car alarm going off ... she hits the unlock button.

I bust my way into the car ... turn off the panic button ... start the car ... and PEEL OUT of the Old Navy parking lot before the cops show up and take me away.  All the while I am trying to console 3 tramatized children from having to have see a therapist when they are grown up due to this ordeal I just put us in.

*sigh*

And yes ... I drank a bottle of wine that night.

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