Another year wiser ...

Oh crap!

I am another year older ...

Officially ...

Today ...

*sigh*.

I was NOT looking forward to turning "this number".

AT. ALL.

And NO I am not telling you my age.  Not a chance.  Not even if the fat lady sings, hell freezes over or pigs fly.  We will just say ... that I have been turning 29 ... for the past few years now.

I honestly wanted to skip this day all together and pretend like it never happened.

But since my husband will not let me forget ...

And my children were brainwashed years ago into thinking that I am actually 4 years younger than I actually am ...

Then I will have to go along with it.

*sigh*

And celebrate my birrrr ...

birthhhhhh ...

*cough*

birthhhhhh ...

*cough again*

Birthday!!!

There ... I said it!!!

BIRTHDAY!!!

So I will celebrate a day that means I am that much closer to crows feet wrinkles, botox, body parts going south ...and staying south, lossing my memory, my "eggs" drying up, loss of bladder control, hot flashes, hearing aids, loosing all ability to burn any calories by just sitting and watching tv because my metabolism is shot, menopause, osteoporosis, gray hair, constipation ...

What were we talking about?!?!?

SH*T!!!

See!!!

My memory is already vanishing right before your very eyes ... and all I have done today is get out of bed and take the kids to school.

By 3:00 I might be sitting in the corner with drool coming out of my mouth ...