Thursday, September 1, 2011

Blogging 101 ...

Blogging has really taken over the world.  It truely has.  Everyone shares there business with everyone else out in cyber world. 

Shoot ... my little 'ol blog has some loyal readers in Canada and Japan.

Admit it ... I just went up a couple of cool points in your book!


Now ... I am by NO MEANS a professional Mommy blogger.

My punctuation ... language ... sense of humor ... run on sentences ... mispelled words ... would make any English teacher cringe ... and truely prevent me from taking over the blogging world.

But ... My blog is listed on Top Mommy Blogs and ...

Picket Fence Blogs ..

Go ahead and click on those websites above and vote for me.  Go ahead!  I'll wait!  I promise I will be right here when you get back ...

Anyways ... there are all of these Blogging Bootcamps, Seminars, Conventions, Online articles and a ba-zillion other things people can attend when it comes to helping you out in the "Blogging World".

I recently had some education of my own on the whole Blogging phenoninon ... and learned a butt load (is butt load a word???) of things that will help me promote my blog and attract more readers.  I was also informed of ways to have search engines pull up my blog post ... which in turn ... will get followers.

You know ... kind of like a pimp for your blog.

Except I am not putting out for cash.

Here are some of the things I have recently learned .

1.  Always update your blog!
Crap!  I have had a problem with that lately.

2.  Spell check helps.
Obviously I have not taken this piece of advice to heart yet.

3.  Use a list as much as you can.
SCORE!  I nailed that one in this blog!

4.  Always have a catch-ey title and use numbers if possible.
Come on now ... when you are standing in line at the grocery store ... your eyes go straight to the Cosmo magazine that says "10 ways to blow your mans mind in the bedroom".  EVERYONE wants to read that article.  It has a "catching title" and is "using numbers".

So I think I need to change the title of this blog post ...

4 or 5 or 10 things I have discovered about blogging ...

5.  Be funny and interesting!
BONUS!  In my life ... something intersting AND funny is ALWAYS happening!  I got this blogging world in the palm of my hands!

Better change this blog title again ...
4 or 5 or 10 FUNNY things I have discovered about blogging ...

6.  Talk about anything and everything.  People wanna hear your dirty little secrets.
Not so sure my husband Clint will go for this one.  Just sayin ...

7.  Always update your blog background.
*sigh*  Do you have ANY idea how long it takes for me to change the background of my blog?!?!?!  ESPECIALLY if I redo it ... and THEN decide I do not like it.  *sigh*

8.  Define your brand as a blogger.
Does chaotic count as a brand???

9. I need to focus on my SEO ... Search Engine Optimization.
Now I am FAR from computer savey.  In fact ... I am pretty sure that my 8 year old knows more about computers than I do.  BUT ... from what I gather ... the more you add frequently searched words and phrases ... the more your blog will pull up on the search engines.  In other words ... if someone types in "boobs" ... and I randomly put the word "boobs" in my blog post ... that reader could possible stumble upon my blog ... and become a loyal reader.

Is that how you go to my blog?!?!?!?

Yes ... you over there with the beer in your hand.

Did you type in "boobs"?!?!?!


OH!!!  And I also read that you should put those words in bold letters.

So ... basically I just need to add words like ...
1.  Sex
2.  Boobs
3.  Kim Kardashian gets married
4.  Beer
5.  Sports
6.  Politics
7.  News
8   Flat Abs
9.  Loose inches
10. Blow jobs

Better change the title to this blog post again ...
4 or 5 or 10 FUNNY things I have discovered about politics while watching the news while having sex in attempt to loose 15 pounds in 2 days to get the flat abs that I want because I drank too much beer while watching sports and blogging ...

Now THAT is one CATCHY blog title!!!

Surely google will pull up this blog post when someone starts to search tonight!!!

10.  If all else fails ... bribe and beg people to read your blog.
Don't mind if I do!!!

You all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

Pretty please ... with sugar on top?!?!?

Oh!!!  Don't forget to click on the cute little link below.  One click is all it takes to vote for my blog.  Do I need to bride you???  What about begging???
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