Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Really ... 8 years already??

Seems like yesterday that Clint and I walked into the Emporia hospital as two really young adults ... and walked out as parents. We walked in not really knowing what was going to happen, or even what to expect. She finally arrived after 26 LONG hours of labor ... followed by an emergency c-section. She was perfect!!! She had the biggest blue eyes and curly dark hair. She ... turned Clint and I ... in a blink of an eye ... into "real" adults.
I remember the moment that the surgeon walked over with her all wrapped up, and handed her to Clint. I looked at him, and he had tears falling down his face. The man that I knew ... was totally different in that very moment. I can still remember the "photo I have in my memory" of that very moment. He was just staring down at her. He then leaned down and kissed her and whispered "Daddy loves you." I do not remember much about that evening (c-sections and pain killers go hand in hand ... and I was really enjoying those pain killers) ... but that very moment ... will forever be in my heart. Breeanna had already stole her Daddy's heart, and she was not even 15 minutes old yet. The thing was ... she did not come with any kind of manual, instructions, or guide lines. Shoot ... we did not even have to sign a paper to leave the hospital with this little person in our arms (*giggle*)They just handed her to us ... wheeled me out in a wheel chair ... and turned us loose out in the real world with this little precious baby. She was suddenly the most important thing to me ... and being sure I protected her, cared for her and made all of her dreams come true ... was the MOST important thing to me. If I could do anything for her ... I would have. I still would.
Being the first born ... Breeanna taught Clint and I to be parents. The good news is ... she was very patient with us, as we learned what to do and not what to do. She had enough clothes for a set or triplets, she had the "name brand" diapers, she had a zillion different bottles, I sterilized everything every minute of every day. She was the most important thing in our lives ... and suddenly ... being a parent was the only thing that was on our minds. Which might be why Breeanna became a big sister when she was only 14 months old. I think the "Mommy and Daddy" role over took us and we could not get enough of it. It was a gift from God and it was the best thing I had ever experienced. Because of Breeanna ... she began our journey onto being "Moore Party of 5". Now ... here I am ... 8 years later ... on the eve of her EIGHTH birthday. Where in the world did the time go? I have no idea. What makes me even more scared ... is that if these past 8 years went this fast ... then how fast are the next 8 gonna go? How can I get this to slow down just a little bit? Can I have a visit with Father Time and put in a request? What about freezing time ... just for a day or so? Is there some potion I can give my kids to keep them little for just awhile longer. Letting go is such a hard thing to do. No one ever told me that. "Letting go" was not in one single parenting book that I read along the way. Nothing in the books, expressed how hard it is to let them go out into the real world and hope that you did something right along the way ... and that they will be ok and survive ... without you right next to them. Each and every day ... they are just that much older ... and just like every other parent ... I am not ready to see them grow up and not need me anymore.
It feels just like yesterday I took her to her first day of preschool, and I circled the block 3 times trying to see in the windows to be sure she was ok. What about the first day of kindergarten ... that really was just yesterday ... wasn't it? She was so much braver than I was that day. I remember her looking up at me, when we were standing in a crowed gym waiting for them to call her name ... she looked up at me when she heard her name, and said "Can I go now?" I nodded, slid my sunglasses on (because the tears started to form in my eyes), blew her a kiss and watched her walk away from me. I called Clint the second I got into the car ... but nothing would come out of my mouth when he answered the other end of the phone call. I remember him saying to me "She will be ok" ... and I replied with "But how will I know".
Breeanna has grown into a beautiful blue eyed young lady. She has blown me away in more ways than I can EVER express in this blog. I truely can not even begin to tell you how proud Clint and I are of her. She is just a perfect daughter, sister, friend, citizen at school, student ... and she makes me smile more and more every day. Her smile could light up a room!!! Clint and I are as proud of her today ... as we were, the very first moment we saw her 8 years ago. Happy Birthday Breeanna Nichole!!!


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