I have not blogged for a few days because ...
On Tuesday my Grandpa passed away.
He lived a long life ... he was 95 years old. I know he was tired and missing my Grandma terribly and "ready to go" ... but it is still hard to loose a family member. His health had been dwindling for awhile now ... but he still kept on trucking. He kept fighting to see another day.
So when my Mom called at 3:30 on Tuesday ... to tell me that my Grandpa had a heart attack ... and that his body was shutting down ... and it was just a matter of time. My initial reaction was to cry ... but part of me thought that he was gonna be ok. He would be back at home the following day ... listening to his country music. But ... the other part of me ... knew.
Not even two hours later ... the phone rang ... and I saw my Mom's cellphone number on caller id. I sat there staring at the phone ... listening to it ring. I did not really wanna answer it. I guess I kind of thought that if I just ignored it ... then it won't happen.
But ... I still picked up the phone ... and listened to my Mom on the other end of the phone tell me that my Grandpa was no longer with us. Those words are nothing anyone wants to hear. I cried. I cried alot. At one point in time during the night ... as I was sitting on the couch crying ... as Clint was hugging me ... Harleigh (my middle daughter) leaned up against me and said "At least Grandpa and Grandma are back together again. I am sure he missed her awhole bunch." Kids sure do have away of making hard times easier.
Wednesday I was asked to write something that could be read at the funeral. I thought about what I could possibly say about Grandpa on Wednesday ... and by Wednesday evening ... I told Clint that I did not have a clue on where to even begin. Of course ... Clint told me that I would figure it out because I was the best at making words sound perfect. (I am still not sure what he was buttering me up for?!?!?!)
By 8:30 on Thursday morning ... I typed out everything that I wanted to say ... and ready for the world to hear. I put my heart into it. I said everything that made me think of him. I cried the whole time I was typing it. But most importantly ... I wanted my Dad to be proud of what I was saying. Sure I was writing something so Grandpa would know how much I loved and admired him ... but it was also very important for my Dad to know that I was doing it for him as well.
10:00 Friday morning ... my Grandpa was layed to rest ... and this is what they read at the funeral from me ...
I grew up right down the road from my Grandpa ... and have more memories than I even know what to do with. Everytime I sit down ... moments with him throughout my childhood keep flashing back at me. He always went out of his way to be sure that you felt special. If I was home sick for the day ... you could bet your bottom dollar that Grandpa would be making a trip to Kentucky Fried Chicken ... and load me up on mashed potatoes for lunch. It was just a given. He always did it. He always had a way of making you feel like you just colored the most amazing work of art that he ever saw ... even if it was just ripped out of a coloring book. I remember he use to let us earn money by picking up rocks off the sidewalk ... and taught me how to drive a lawn mower. It was the little things that he did ... that made him so special in my heart. You could always count on Grandpa to have candy bars and Pepsi in the frig ... and peanut brittle and chocolate covered peanuts in the house at Christmas time. One thing that I will always remember about my Grandpa ... was that he could rock a pair of overalls, button up shirt and lace up boots like no one else!!! I can still hear his amazing laugh. If I close my eyes I can picture him sitting in his chair in the living room twiddling his thumbs. He was a man of few words ... but when he spoke you always listened. He worked hard during his life ... and had rough hands to prove it ... but still gave the best hugs any grandkid could ask for.
When I heard about Grandpa passing away ... I instanly had visions of Grandma and Grandpa running up to one another up in heaven hugging each other. I could then vision Grandma looking him right in the eyes saying in her stern voice "What took you so long? I have been waiting a long time to see you." As much as we are sad to see him go ... he is back with the woman that he loves. Grandpa is gone ... but never forgotten. I will think of him every single time I look upon the stars ... and I know he will be looking back at me. He was an amazing man who will be missed terribly.
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It will always maake me cry
ReplyDeleteBut in a good proud way.
love mom
I am so truly sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteYour words brought tears to my eyes. I miss my grandpa too.
Sorry for your loss! Your husband is right, you do have a way with words. I'm sniffling!
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