Why can't I be like Chef Boy R D'?

I want to be the "perfect" wife.  The kind of wife when Clint walks in the door ... I am standing there in a dress and hair done.  I have an apron neatly tied around my waist, lip stick on with some amazing heels on to match my dress.  Of course ... the smell of dinner would be through out the house as he walks in and says, "Honey!  I'm home!" 

*waving the white flag* 

Haa HAhhh ... who are we kidding???  I am BY FAR ... not the "Leave it to Bever" kind of wife.  I so badly wanna be ... but thank the Lord above ... Clint has not came to his senses yet and taken off in the middle of the night. 

There is nothing more in this world ... than I would like to do ... than be able to cook like my Mom and Grandma.  I mean ... I try.  I have speghetti down.  Pizza ... although ... the kids seem to vote for the frozen pizza when I begin to talk about making it.  I can even do Tacos ... but who am I kidding ... I think Breeanna could make tacos by herself if I let her.

Being Chef Boy R D' (sh*t ... is that even how it is spelled???) is a dream of mine.  An aspiration (did you notice I pulled out the big word there?!?!?) of mine.  A desire ... but one that is often failed. 

I can not tell you how many times I have decided to try a new receipe ... and I can just feel Clint shudder at the pure thought of tasting my new creation.  Poor guy.

*stomping foot*  Is there a gene that somehow my Mom forgot to give me when I was born?  Darn it Mom. 

I mean ... there have been some GREAT "learning moments" for me along the way.  Of course ... these "learning moments" for me ... were possible near death moments for Clint.  We could even possibly lean towards the direction of food poisioning ... but the jury is still out on that one.

I learned that if the bowl says ... NOT Dishware Safe or NOT microwave safe ... believe the bowl!  I speak from experience.  Just go with me on this one. 

I learned NOT to poor the grease from a plate of bacon that I cooked in the microwave down the drain.  I learned that one as Clint was screaming "NO!!!!!!" at me. I guess plumbers frown on grease going down a drain???

I learned that you have to stir the macaroni after you poured it into boiling water.  You can not poor it in ... and then go about your business.  If you do not stir it ... then you will have one large mass of noodles when it is all said and done.  And ... a husband and 3 kids kind of frown on sharing a plate of noodles that has formed into one large heap.

I have learned that tin foil is not suspose to go in the microwave.  If my memory serves me correctly ... we had to buy a new microwave immediately after we got married because no one taught me this in Home Economics in highschool. 

Of course ... there was the time that my Mom asked me to melt some butter.  So ... I thought it would be funny to sit the tub of butter on the stove burner.  Not so funny when you are suddenly smelling burning plastic throughout your parents house.

Cooking ... and drinking a "few" glasses wine ... normally does not result in a very good out come.  So ... I learned to drink the wine AFTER I cooked dinner.

I learned that Peanut Butter and Jelly can be served for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  AND there is nothing wrong with milk and cookies for dinner every now and then.

So ... all in all ... I am still a receipe away from McDonald's for the evening.  But ... I do know that when the smoke dector going off ... it means dinner is done ... *wink*