Friday, January 7, 2011

What tequila bottle???

Houston we have a problem.

And it starts with a Te ...

and end with a Quila.

It seems that our garage smells like a dorm room the morning after a college girl went out drinking all night ... and scored alot of free drinks along the way. 

Just a guess ... on how that smells. 

NOT that I would know ANYTHING about how "the morning after a really drunk night" would smell. 

*halo shining brightly above my head*

It seems ... that a small bottle of tequila that was in our frig ... out in the garage ... fell to the floor ... and broke.

Yes people ... we have a frig in the garage that holds different varieties of liquor.

Don't judge me.

*halo shinging so brightly above my head you have to put your sunglasses on*

Back to the topic at hand ... I was in the process of mixing up a bucket of daquari mix this morning.

Yet again ... don't judge.

*remember the halo people*

I was not gonna drink it at 8:30 am.  Now ... it DID cross my mind.  BUT once you mix up the bucket of daquari mix ... it has to be frozen ... so drinking it was not an option anyways.

Clint and I had bought one of those bucket mixes for New Year's Eve ... but never once drank it.  Instead we went with Dr. Pepper and chocolate milk.  Oh yes ... that is how we roll!!! 

Anyways ... I decided to mix up the bucket for later this evening.  I went to go and put it in the freezer ... and then put the bottle of Rum in the frig. 

Well ... as I opened the frig door ... my OCD bitch slapped me in the face.  All I can see is a sea of bottles that are in no particular order.  Just sitting on the shelf in the frig ... with no rhyme or reason.

I think Clint secretly does this shit to annoy me.

None of the labels were facing the right way.  They were not arranged big to small.  And they were all over the shelf ... not in a nice organized line. 

See how this could be annoying!?!?!

So ... as I went to set the Rum bottle down on the shelf with one hand ... I might have reached for the champaign bottle a wee-bit to fast.  Because ... suddenly ... a small bottle of tequila was teter-tottering on the edge of the shelf.


How in the world can I grab that?

I have the Rum bottle in one hand ... and the champaign bottle that OBVIOUSLY should be in the back of the frig because it IS the tallest bottle in the other hand.

Need a third hand RIGHT ABOUT NOW!



*tequilla smell rushing up my nose*

*possibly getting drunk just off the smell alone*


While attempting to pick up the glass ... I suddenly realize that the tequilla is dripping off my hands.  BOY OH BOY do I smell like a drunkin bum sitting on the side of the curb with a bottle wrapped in a paper bag.

Oh Crap!

I am having lunch with Harleigh in ONE HOUR!  How am I gonna get this smell off of me???  What if the 2nd graders surrounding me ... start sniffing ... then say ... "Harleigh your Mom's perfume smells weird".  What if the teachers walking past me ... smell the liquor on me ... shake their heads in disbelief ... and whisper "Did you smell that parent over there?  Poor kid!  Their Mom is a walking drunk."?!?!?!

So ... I quickly veto the idea of picking up the glass that fell on the floor ...

Clint can get it later ... it IS his fault after all.

Forget about picking up the liquid that quickly went from a puddle of tequila ... to a large stream aiming straight towards the garage doors.

Clint can get that, too. 

Maybe then he will stop stacking the green, pink, blue and red cups all together.  What kind of organization is that anyways?!?!?!  Same color gets stacked together.  It is just one of "those things" that you do in life.  Kind of like laughing when someone falls and trips ... you stack the same color of cups together.


Back to the smell that is taking over my body ...

Will perfume cover up the smell?

Maybe if I wash my hands with this good smelling soap?

Hand sanitizer?  Don't mind if I do!!!

Well ... on the bright side ...the house at least smells good now.

Oh the "flip" side ... I smell like a cheep whore that just downed a bottle of tequila.


So ... lesson learned today ... don't start planning your "evening beverage" before noon.

*halo shining brightly above my head*

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  1. why oh why were you even in the garage in the morning
    next time stay indoors and stay smelling better

  2. LMAO So funny! I love your writing style! Visiting from the Mystery Post Blog Hop on Mommy D's Kitchen Thanks for Hoppin!

  3. I love your blogs and graphics, I'm going to try and change my layout soon, Once I get the courage up. thank you for the inspiration.

  4. LOL! So funny. Here from Mommy D's mystery hop.

    PS I looooove the smell of tequila. And I have a halo too.

  5. So funny, sounds like one of the kind of days I have.

    Glad to have found you via Mommy D's Mystery Post hop.


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